Genie of the Teapot
by MeteorLeopard
Summary: When Toushirou, son of the King's Adviser, had wished for a way out of his arranged marriage, he hadn't anticipated getting stuck with an all-powerful and very irritating genie. It really was too bad that she kept destroying anything she laid her hands on
1. I Acquire a Jewel Encrusted Teapot

**I have no explanation for this, other than the fact that I intended to start this story on a serious and dramatic note. Well, that didn't happen. One brainstorming session with HoneyBadger - over making a chocolate cake - later, my brilliant plan for a fabulous desert romance had been reduced to... THIS! **

**This whole thing came from a picture that I saw in the back of a manga book. I even drew a picture for this story! (Well, actually, I traced it and then HoneyBadger put heads on top of the people to change them into Toushirou and Karin. Heh. Check it out on our DA account, okay?)**

**Enjoy!**

**Title: Genie in the Teapot - Chapter 1**

**Author: MeteorLeopard (SugarFox)**

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><p>The heat was sweltering, and for an individual like Toushirou, it was his worst nightmare. He hated the heat, and it was somewhat problematic when you lived in the middle of the desert. Long stretches of hazy sand and the sun beating down on you like a drum. Who wouldn't want to live in a large stone city in the middle of all this? The answer would be him.<p>

He preferred to spend every day hiding in his living quarters at the palace, cowering from the heat. The only upside of being the son of the King's most trusted advisor was that there were always servants on standby to bring you icy cold fruit punch while you muttered incorrigible curses about the blasted weather.

The downside of being the son of the second most powerful man in the kingdom, would be your father and aunt's determined efforts to get you to 'settle down with a nice girl'. This seriously hacked Toushirou off beyond reasonable proportions. He was so irritated with Matsumoto trying to set him up with some high society girl that he had fled to the streets for the day, only dressed in his peasant clothing reserved for his escapes and a thick piece of cloth hiding is head of unusual white hair.

Now if there was anything that indicated how badly he didn't want to get married, it would be the fact that he would rather brave the midday sun than meet potential suitors. Did he mention just how much he hated the heat? He hated it so much that he would rather swim in an oasis full of deadly, poisonous scorpions! That at least was quick and relatively painless, while the torture of the blistering heat – or meeting potential suitors – seemed endless.

Matsumoto was his overbearing and motherly aunt who didn't seem to understand that he didn't need a wife! He needed a new fan to keep him cool, he needed a new camel, and perhaps some new ceremonial robes for parties and whatnot, but a wife? Not in the slightest. So he had fled, and found himself wandering the dusty streets of the market place.

Disheveled merchant's children braved the heat and played jovially amongst the stalls and there was a sweet spicy smell in the air from the honey, cinnamon and dried figs that the humble merchants were selling with booming voices. He moseyed past baskets filled with fruits, piled high with spices, and even a stall selling Persian carpets in shades of mahogany and beige.

He suddenly felt very hungry, and recalled that he had skipped lunch in order to make himself scarce from the palace. Toushirou pulled a silver coin from his light linen robes and proffered it to the merchant. He requested a bag of roasted cashew nuts and a flask of water and the man obliged with a toothy grin. The merchant that Toushirou was dealing with was a humble and world wise man who had travelled great distances to acquire his goods, and his experiences were carved into his deeply wrinkled and weather-beaten face.

Toushirou wondered what it would be like to be a general merchant and travel the world. He would be able to see so many things, and meet so many new people. He wouldn't have to be house-bound to the palace, and he wouldn't have to find a wife. The thought was so tempting, and Toushirou wondered if he would be able to make a success of being a merchant. Now that he thought about it, he knew absolutely nothing about being buying and selling things, and the second he settled down to sell anything he would be discovered and dragged back to the palace. Images of him being found and hauled back to the palace by Matsumoto and a dozen soldiers did not sound like a particularly enjoyable experience. Hmm. Oh well.

Toushirou continued to wander and look for a place to sit and enjoy his impromptu lunch. After wandering for ten minutes, he found himself at the edge of the huge city. Large walls surrounded the granite and marble buildings and at night they closed the doors as to keep out the bandits and crooks. Alternatively, it may have been built to keep people inside. You could never be quite sure about these things.

Toushirou wandered out of the gates and barely spared a nod for the guards at the gate who gave him a glare before allowing him to exit. He found a spot along the wall on the outside of the city that had gained a small slice of shade in the afternoon sun.

Settling down, he began to munch through his bag of nuts, and he was glad for the refuge that the tall granite wall offered. He sat there and began to attempt to think out an ingenious plan to escape the palace and travel the world. Although no matter how many ideas ran through his mind, he was unable to think of one that could prevent him from being recognized by locals and deported back home after he had managed to escape. Lost deep in his planning, he was suddenly flung from his mulled thoughts when a slovenly dressed beggar threw himself at Toushirou's feet and began pleading for a drink of water.

Toushirou looked the haggard man up and down, and deduced that he had probably come from the middle of the desert. What kind of man in his right mind went walking into the desert on a day like this? Certainly no man who had a least a dried fig's worth of common sense. Toushirou reached to the flask on the ground beside him and extended the cool water for the man to drink. The man grabbed the water so fast that he nearly dropped it and drank greedily, rivulets of water running down his bearded face. After drinking his fill, the man took a deep gasp of the thick, humid air and wiped his mouth on his torn sleeve.

"Many thanks, kind stranger," he told Toushirou, who just nodded as the beggar handed him his flask back. "I have been trapped in the desert for days, lost and unable to find civilization. I am ever grateful for the kindness you have shown me. If there is anything I can do to repay you..." He rambled on, and Toushirou just raised a hand to silence him.

"No thanks will be necessary," he began to say, but the man was very insistent that he had to give Toushirou something. Toushirou had barely had a chance to breathe again – or utter o word of protest – when the man shoved something into his hand, and left as if he had pack of rattlesnakes on his heels. Toushirou blinked and noted that he was truly alone. The man was running away for dear life on a one-way path for the city gates.

Curious now, Toushirou began to examine the item in his hand. It was a teapot. Rather small, probably only for one or two cups of tea, and made of what appeared to be bronze. It was decorated with large precious jewels and stones all over it's surface with the exception of a small rectangle on the one side. It was a beautiful teapot, rare and absolutely exquisite. It was probably a collectable, and worth its weight in cinnamon at the very least. Why the beggar man would have it – and be so eager to get rid of it – was just slightly worrying.

Giving the teapot another glance, Toushirou realized that the small, clear space on the bronze had something engraved on it. Squinting closely, and raising a hand to shade the glare of the sun, he read the small message on the side. It was simple, a mere two words in fact: "Rub me."

"How strange," Toushirou muttered to himself in a captivated undertone. "Why would someone want to rub a teapot?" He asked this question to no one in particular, and it might have been his imagination, but he was almost sure that the little pot wriggled a bit in his grip. He inspected it again, and nearly dropped it in shock when he realised that the writing on the side had changed to: "Just do it, idiot."

He blinked twice and shook his head. This was crazy; he had to be suffering from hallucinations or something. Yes, it must be a mirage. There was no way that a teapot was attempting to communicate with him! He'd probably just misread the message the first time. Although the thought of why somebody would engrave such a peculiar message on the side of a teapot left quite enough for him to ponder on.

Just to make sure he was not completely losing his mind, Toushirou raised his arm and rubbed the teapot to clear any dust off it, and to make sure that he wasn't missing any of the message. As he rubbed, the little teapot began to shudder and shake in a violent fashion. Strange purple smoke billowed out of the spout and bright sparks leapt out at regular intervals. Toushirou dropped the pot into the soft sand at his feet and stared, horrified. Edging away from it, as if it were a rabid camel, he gazed at it from behind raised hands.

The smoke cleared and Toushirou was surprised to find the smoky figure of a young girl dressed in light desert attire. Her face held a cheeky grin that was framed by a cropped bob of raven black hair. She was very pretty and had she not just emerged from a teapot, Toushirou might have attempted to strike up a conversation. However, you could never be sure what type of girls jumped out of teapots, so he refrained.

So Toushirou ended up just looking at her, completely bewildered, and beginning to wonder if the heat had finally addled his usually sensible mind. It might very well be true.

"You-! You just came out of that teapot!" He stumbled over his words, spluttering, and the girl looked amused, gazing at him with her hands crossed over her chest.

"Do you have a problem with me emerging from a teapot?" She asked, her voice holding the slightest hint of a teasing and challenging tone. Toushirou took a deep breath, muttering that this must be a mirage, and then closed his eyes and shook his head furiously before opening his eyes again.

She was still there.

"This is just wrong," he said to himself, muttering like mental asylum patient. "It must be the heat. Dehydration. That's it!" He seemed to have an epiphany. "Teapots aren't home to strange girls! This is all a figment of my imagination!" Toushirou rattled off, his talk seeming to assure himself that he had not in fact gone stark raving mad. "A dream! I am going to wake up at the palace and the servants are going to bring me breakfast. Yes, that's it. Just a dream." He continued to mutter and the petite dark haired girl was trying not to laugh at him.

"You know, I have had a lot of reactions over the last five thousand years, but yours is truly the funniest. You look like an idiot." She told him bluntly, laughing, her hands holding her sides, and he glared at her.

"You don't exist." He seemed to tell himself, more than her, and she seemed to take offense to this comment.

"Excuse me. I assure you that I am quite real. Would you like me to turn you into a desert rat?" She swooped closer to him, and jabbed him in the chest with a finger. "Would that be proof enough for you?" She said her tone indignant, and her proud chin in the air. His eyes widened and after that comment. He had no desire to become a rodent, and the mere fact that she had touched him and he had felt it was proof enough that this was no mirage. Even if she was floating and attached to the teapot by a long wisp of purple smoke.

"Who are you?" He asked her hesitantly, and she grinned widely, showing him all her pearly white teeth. Her presence was obvious, and it was clear on a closer inspection that she wasn't a completely solid entity. She looked sort of like a desert spirit, and definitely not human in the slightest. Raising her arms above her head, causing the bangles on her arms to clang loudly, she took a deep breath and then spoke.

"My name is Kurosaki Karin. The Genie of the Teapot! Master of Events of Great Consequence!" She told him smugly and procured a round of mini fireworks around her head from where she floated in midair.

Toushirou looked amazed. She was a genie? But genies were a myth! One hadn't been recorded in over five hundred years! She couldn't be a genie, it was impossible, he though stubbornly.

"You cannot be a genie. I have read books on genies. They are supposed to live in lamps," he told her with fierce determination, trying to convince himself more than anything else.

Karin the Genie looked irritated with him, and slapped her forehead with her palm. "Of course, _everyone_ has to point that out!" She began to rant angrily. It was clearly a sore point for her. She threw her hands into the air and began to pace… well, float back and forth with vigor, and shrieked in a mocking voice. "You can't be a genie, Karin, genies live in lamps! No Karin, you can't possibly be all powerful because you live in a teapot! It never ends! I swear, the next one who points out that I can't possibly be a genie because live in a teapot will find themselves trampled by a herd of dung beetles!"

Toushirou had clearly rubbed her up the wrong way, if you excuse his pun. "Just a question. Why do you live in a teapot?" He asked her curiously and she sighed and gazed at him as if she was wondering if summoning the beetles was worth the effort to get rid of him.

"I live in a teapot," she explained through clenched teeth, "because the sorcerer who placed me in there had a sick sense of humor for the irony of it." She told him rather huffily, and he nodded as if he understood. Now that was one cruel, yet ingenious, sorcerer. Nobody would ever look for a genie in a teapot!

"Any specific reason for the choice of a teapot?" He asked, and she rolled her eyes as if he had asked a horribly silly question.

"Not really, but I hail from England. So it was the teapot or an umbrella stand. Take your pick, I preferred a house with a roof." She snapped and then shrugged, as if she was tired with the conversation. "Anymore silly questions for The Genie of the Teapot, oh master?" She asked with a lazy sort of sarcasm.

Toushirou looked at her amazed. He was the new master of an all-powerful genie. Upside: Free wishes. Downside: From a teapot. Though beggars couldn't be choosers, and that would be the near perfect solution to his predicament. He had a genie from a teapot. Frankly, he was still rather confused. Oh well, he guessed he should just go with it.

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><p><strong>REVIEW PLEASE! :D <strong>

**Chapter 2 is already almost finished! **


	2. All I See is a Sea of Sand

**Thank you so much for the reviews and all the positive response on this story! It is the first time I am writing a chapter fic without stockpiling a couple of chapters first, so updates might be little slow but I am going to try to keep them on a one a week basis. It is nearly our summer holidays here in South Africa, and I am DONE with school, so I will update! Promise! So please keep reviewing and I will keep writing! Feel free to PM me with suggestions, ideas or even jokes to use and I will make sure I credit them to you accordingly. This chapter also has the first of many omakes so enjoy that at the end too!**

**Oh and one last thing! For those of you who haven't checked out my picture on Deviant art for this story yet, make sure you go and do that! Here: http : / / meteorleopard (dot) deviantart (dot) com / art / ****Genie-of-the-Teapot-268840946?q=gallery%3Ameteorleopard&qo=3**

**Plus! HoneyBadger is helping me with this story, and while refining her brilliant masking skills she has conjured a delightful AMV for it! Karin is really a genie! It is all Arabian and whatnot! It is super brilliant so be sure the check it out on our YouTube account and comment! She spent hours on it! Hours! So please be sure to drop her a nice line, ok? Here: http : / / www (dot) youtube (dot) com / watch?v = cyTVI7pJ3Ls**

**Also, we were having trouble with our Review Reply links a few days ago. FF kept telling us that the links had expired or something... So we're sorry if we didn't get back to you.**

**Alright, enough of the drabble! On with the story!**

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><p><strong>Title: Genie of the Teapot (Chapter 2 - All I See is A Sea of Sand)<strong>

**Author: MeteorLeopard (SugarFox)**

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><p>It had taken Toushirou a couple of minutes to comprehend his good fortune and just to get over the general shock that he had become the master of a very cute looking genie. He scrutinized her with curious turquoise eyes, and she gave him a happy grin in return. She was still sort of floating in mid air, and Toushirou was worried that if he blinked that she would be gone. Mirages tended to do that sometimes.<p>

Fascinated, he decided to pay closer attention to the finer defining details of this genie. She wore cream linen pants with gold beading that billowed at the base and her entire midriff was exposed. Toushirou tried not to blush at how relaxed she was in her scantily clad state. Her top was small and in the form of a patterned waistcoat with similar beading. The only item that she had that was even slightly out of the ordinary from any normal genie he had heard about was that she had a sword strapped to her side.

"If you are a genie then why do you have a sword?" He asked her, pointing to the sword at her side and she drew it to reveal a curled blade that looked as though it had a bite chomped out of it.

"I love sword fighting. Spent a couple of years with an indecisive sword master." She told him, and waving her sword around in a mock lunge, she impaled an imaginary opponent next to Toushirou. He jumped out of the way just in case. He was hardly in the mood to lose a limb.

"Do you really have to jab that thing in my direction?" He asked her irritably and she just shrugged at his complaint. Toushirou was not entirely sure why, but she really was the most energetically eccentric individual he had ever come across; genie or not.

"Sorry." She said, and then put her sword away, not sounding in the least bit sorry. "It is nice to be out of the teapot for a change. Been stuck in there for awhile." She began looking around, now noting that she was indeed free. Floating up a little bit higher, she shaded her hand of her eyes and looked out into the distance, examining the desert as a whole.

"Hey, this is the desert of Seireitei! I haven't been here in ages. Probably about a thousand years. Can't say it changed much. The sand still looks exactly the same. " Karin explained cheerfully. "Although, I think that dune used to be more to the left." She mused and pointed at a random mountain of sand before she landed neatly on her feet beside him again.

Toushirou frowned at her and wondered how old she really was. He was not sure if it was rude to ask a genie a question like that. Matsumoto had always told him that you never asked a woman her age. Was that rule also applicable to female genies? To be honest, he did not want to feel the wrath of an upset female genie. Heaven knows, Matsumoto's wrath was bad enough when she lopped him on the head with her heavily jeweled hand. Who knew what the genie would do if provoked, although the girl's physical features looked no older than his young age of seventeen.

Karin the genie turned her attention to him and then rubbed her hands together. "So let's get cracking! What is your first wish?"

Toushirou blinked twice, and then paused to think about it. He didn't want to waste his wishes and, if he only got three, he wanted to make them count. He wanted to use his wishes to get the hell out of the palace and travel the world. Until he thought of the best way to make use of them, he was going to plan his escape. "Not so fast." He told her quickly. "I don't want to use my wishes just yet."

Karin frowned and folded her arms over her chest huffily. She didn't like the sound of this at all.

"Great. Another indecisive one. Please just tell me that you don't intend on locking me in an underground cave to keep my power out of the hands of others. Because I just recently got out of a cave a few weeks ago. Let me tell you something; caves underground are cold, wet, damp, and they smell worse than a camel pen!" She was doing that vigorous floating thing again, and Toushirou decided she was getting rather good at it. "All of which are horrific," She continued, "and I really have no inclination to spend another two hundred years in one of those festering pits of disease, even if I am surrounded by pears made of gold." Karin rattled off her entire life story, and Toushirou stood in silence waiting for her to finish.

"Are you quite done yet?" He asked her irritated and she frowned at him, cursing under her breath about damn impatient and ungrateful people and their complete disregard for her opinion. To be honest, he didn't give so much as a sprinkle of saffron for her opinion. It was hot and he just wanted to go back to the palace and plan his great escape now. He was also reminded that if he didn't get back before dark that Matsumoto would surely have his head on a platter and an irrationally worried Matsumoto was enough to scare even the captain of the guards into submission.

Toushirou told the genie to go back into her teapot, and she did so rather reluctantly and only after she made him promise that he would not lock her away in any secret magic caves. Oh yes, because he had a few extra magical caves just lying around begging to be used, he thought sarcastically. So he clutched the teapot under his arm and began to make his way back to the palace.

The guards at the city gates gave him another scrutinizing look and looked particularly curious about the teapot tucked under his arm, but Toushirou merely tossed them a gold coin for gate taxes and continued on his way before they decided to ask where he'd gotten the teapot. It was not common for a lowly street rat to go out of the city walls empty-handed and return with a treasure, and the chances they thought it wasn't stolen was probably the equivalent of trying to find your runaway camel in sandstorm. In other words, nearly impossible.

He clutched the teapot under his arm and, keeping his covered head down, he avoided looking at anybody in the market place. There were a lot of people who would treat him very differently if they knew that he was the grand viziers' son, and he was not in the mood to have anybody attempt to smooth talk him. The worst was actually the women and young girls who had heard that Matsumoto was trying to marry him off. Now that was simply awful. He would be bombarded by girls no matter where he went, and public events became a farce where many sobbed and begged him to marry them or to marry their daughters. It was terribly embarrassing having a weepy fifteen-year-old girl begging you to marry her and her mother clinging to the ends of your robe. Didn't these girls have any respect for themselves?

He huffed to himself about how absurd society was and, in his musings, he found himself being shoved out of the way by somebody passing him. The first shove wasn't too bad, and Toushirou managed to regain his balance in seconds, only to be shoved aside more roughly by a larger figure soon after. The man who had shoved him aside was swearing and cursing at the smaller figure that was making good use of its nimble nature and making a run for it. Most likely, a street rat who probably just stolen some food from him, Toushirou thought as he noted the ground racing up suspiciously fast. He hit the ground with a loud thud and the force of the movement whipped off the cloth covering his head and displayed his entire mop of unruly, unusual white hair, just like his father.

The entire marketplace seemed to take a collective gasp.

Toushirou grimaced, clutching the teapot closer as he whipped his hood over his head again hoping that nobody had noticed. It was definitely not his lucky day, and there was a synchronized shriek as every single young girl in the marketplace flocked to him.

"Hitsugaya-sama! Marry me, Hitsugaya-sama!" They wailed and shrieked, racing to be the first one to sink their nails into the handsome Hitsugaya Toushirou.

Toushirou froze for a second as they ran towards him, a sort of rabid look in their eyes. The last thing he needed was to fall into their clutches and be torn limb from limb.

It was also to his chagrin that he couldn't use his sword to defend himself from the so-called innocent civilians. His father and the sultan would hardly accept that as an excuse for lopping off the heads of several civilians.

He had to deal with this situation like a man and a brave desert soldier. His vision blurred with all the girls in brightly coloured desert clothing rampaging towards him. Who was he kidding? He would rather fight on the frontlines in the middle of a sand storm than stick around for what was about to become a very ugly scene. So he did the only thing that he could think of in his current predicament.

He ran.

Very speedily, he might add.

He dodged through the hordes of people, past the merchant tents, and in his ducking and diving he only managed to gain even more attention and followers. Running in between the high buildings and dusty alleys, he found himself breathing heavily from the hot air. His lungs felt as though they were going to burst into flames. He was still clinging to his teapot and hugging it to his chest he wished that he could just summon the genie and she could snap her fingers and get him out of the situation he was trying to avoid. The only problem was that he couldn't do it in broad daylight and he was pretty much surrounded by people.

Toushirou continued to run and found himself in a large square courtyard filled with people. Alleys branched off into a couple of beneficial escape routes. He darted towards the one that would take him the shortest route to the palace and he was in the center of the square when he noticed that a group of screaming women was running towards him from the direction he was heading. They had taken a different route perhaps. No, he would have noticed if the screaming had stopped behind him, and it hadn't. If anything, it was getting closer and all the more shrilly. He glanced behind him and saw that a couple of the more persistent ones were still on his tail. Another glace to his left noted another group coming from that side, and Toushirou had to wonder: Were they freaking _herding_ him? No way! Talk about your desperate fangirls. He could swear that he heard the damned teapot laughing at him! This was not funny!

His only path to the palace blocked by psychos, Toushirou turned and ran to an alleyway to his right, even if it was in the opposite direction of his destination. Rushing down the dark alleyway, he felt the cooler breeze from the shade between the two buildings but didn't stop to enjoy it. Bursting into the street on the other end, Toushirou looked around for a place to hide until the dust settled and before they caught up.

He spotted the very last place anybody would look for him and dived in, completely disregarding the man who gave him a confused look before continuing to tend to his camel.

Toushirou wasted to time in rubbing the lamp with his sleeve in short aggressive movements. He could hear the shrieking getting closer and began fervently cursing under his breath. "Come on, come on!" He growled as he rubbed, crouched low to the ground behind a pile of camel feed. It was by no means the most desirable hiding place, between two humped beasts chewing their cud. Toushirou prayed that they wouldn't drool on him because that would just be the ultimate low blow. Discovered and covered in camel saliva; there really was nothing more rock bottom than that.

The genie's exit from the lamp was a lot more low-profile this time and she emerged with only the smallest puff of purple smoke. He had never been more thankful that the huge fireworks display was only for first appearances. If she let off all of those fireworks, it would be like giving off a flare that screamed 'I am here! Come rip me to shreds!'

"What do you want?" She snapped at him and he did a double take at her appearance. He had clearly interrupted something and he tried to avert his gaze from her scantily clad form with little success. The genie had apparently been taking a bath of some form and felt the distinct need to make her harassed appearance in nothing but a white towel wrapped around her lithe figure. She had her arms crossed over her chest, her hair was half lathered, and she had a back scrubber in one hand. Toushirou had no doubt by the look on her face that she felt like beating him to death with it. She looked rather pissed, and he hoped that she would get over it and help him get the hell out of there. Maybe if he asked her nicely…

"Well?" She asked again loudly, and Toushirou flinched and snapped out of his moment of staring at her when he felt a squeaky rubber object hit his head and bounce away. Was that a… yellow rubber camel? He glared at it.

"Shh! They will hear you!" He hissed at her in a hushed whisper and she just shook her head at him as if she thought he had seriously lost it this time. Although what could she do about it? She was just a genie, and she didn't know how to cure insanity. She could merely build an asylum for the insane people in question. Believe her; it had happened more often than one would like to think.

The sounds of fangirl shrieking were close and if one of them decided to look in this direction, or happened to hear something, he was so busted.

Karin's nose crinkled as she looked at the environment she was in. It stank, and it was worse than that cave she was stuck in not too long ago. The square pen housed six camels that looked as though they were bored out of their minds and they didn't seem to care that they were in the presence of the Grand Vizier's son. Well at least the camels didn't care about their social standing, or lack thereof.

She turned to Toushirou who was trying to catch his breath from his run in deep gasps without actually giving away his location. "Why are we in a camel pen, and why did you interrupt my bath to bring me here, to hide between awful smelling beasts?" She asked him, most displeased with her summons and her current general vicinity.

Toushirou felt his temper rising. "You were called to be of service. Now get me the hell away from here." He hissed at her and she suddenly grinned at his desperate situation. Floating upwards slightly, she peered out of their hiding place and gazed at the frenzy of girls looking for him in the street.

"Awww I think it is funny. Who would have thought _you_ would have a horde of fangirls?" She laughed, almost bemused by his predicament and he glared at her. How dare she ridicule him when he was her master! If he didn't need her services so urgently, he would definitely bury her in an underground cave, without the gold pears this time!

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked her, feeling somewhat offended. Crossing his arms over his chest, he gave a huff of frustration. She turned to face him, her expression thoughtful as she gave his crouching figure an up and down look.

"Oh, you know." Karin began. "Girls always want the tall, dark, and handsome type. Your 'looks' are not exactly fitting." She shrugged, turning back to peek at the girls again, and Toushirou looked as though he wanted to yell at her if it wouldn't give away his location. How inconvenient. He hardly ever yelled at anyone and now he couldn't even if he wanted to. He really needed to start being more careful about hiding his identity when he snuck out on his escapades.

"Are you saying that I'm ugly?" He growled at her in a furious undertone. He was by no means vain, but nobody liked to be called ugly, especially by a genie. Karin turned and then leaned closer to dissect his physical features and make a general summary of his level of handsomeness. He tried not to blush under her squinting, judging eyes, and a small slice of him hoped that he would meet her genie standards.

Karin mulled over it for a second, and then nodded slowly in conclusion. "No, not at all." She told him easily. "You are rather handsome." She continued, and Toushirou felt almost relieved, at least until she faltered and put a thoughtful finger on her chin. "But your hair is white, and you are so short! Don't you eat your vegetables?" She asked him, almost as if she was patronizing him.

"I am not short!" Toushirou's temper flared, and he snapped at her as loud as he could without drawing attention to himself. Besides, how could she tell that he was short anyway? He was crouching down damn it! Also, to top it off, she was shorter than him, so she couldn't talk!

"Now, now, no need to get huffy." She waved off his hissy fit with a lazy hand and his glare etched deeper into his features. "Two hundred years and kids still don't like veggies. Nice to know that things don't change when you spend a couple of years laying low." She seemed to like the idea of the world not changing all that much and Toushirou looked as though he was about to blow his top.

"I am not a kid! Besides, I live in the desert! Where the hell would you like me to put a freaking veggie garden?" His tone was icy and Karin didn't seem to mind it in the least. She ignored him again, and then decided to get on with her original train of thought.

"My point is that girls want the entire slice of cake with the cherry on top." Karin explained over her shoulder, since she had gone back to playing lookout. "You only have one of three criteria." She pointed a finger at him, almost in accusation of his genetic makeup. "You are not even the cake. You are the useless paper plate. No girl wants the useless paper plate." She told him bluntly, and for the third time that day Toushirou found his ego drop another couple of notches. There was nothing like a genie to work wonders on one's self esteem.

"Your charming summary of my physical features does not amuse me." He told her shortly, deciding that if he kept yelling at her in undertone he would eventually be found. "Now would you quit calling me a paper plate and get me out of here?" He told her harshly. Karin just continued to ignore his request and gaze past the pile of camel feed.

"Why? Some of those girls are very cute. You should ask one of them out." She asked him and he slapped his palm against his forehead. What happened to genie obedience school? What happened to 'your wish is my command'? For goodness sake, she was probably the worst genie in the world. It seemed that defiance was a new fad in the genie world and he did not like it one single bit. What did you have to do to get a wish granted these days? Beg and plead?

"Not happening." He told her firmly, and she seemed to take pleasure in his discomfort. He shook his head at her obvious delight at making his life as difficult as possible.

"But that one has rolling pin! She looks like perfect future wife material!" Karin laughed and grabbed Toushirou by the front of his clothes and dragged him up to see who she was pointing at, slathering him in soapsuds in the process. He squirmed and yanked himself out of her vice-like grip without even bothering to look at who she was pointing at. He dived behind the pile again, praying that nobody saw him. What was wrong with this girl? Did she want him to die at the hands of a bunch of fanatical fangirls? Now he was covered in camel saliva and some kind of pomegranate scented shampoo.

"Would you shut up and do what you are told!" His temper was finally on its last thread. "Good grief, you are the worst genie ever." He muttered, crossing his arms over his chest again. He glowered at her with the fury of an unforgiving sandstorm. Karin raised her eyebrow at her furious master, and wondered at what point he'd suddenly gotten angry. Surely, she hadn't done anything right?

"Ok then, I guess that is a 'no' for rolling-pin woman." She concluded, and looked almost disappointed that he didn't want to marry her first choice of bride for him. He was no fun, Karin decided and Toushirou continued to look at her unimpressed.

"Alright, then let me tell you that only the truly desperate use my power. Are you sure you want to do this?" Karin came and floated closer to Toushirou, brandishing her back scrubber. He edged away from the bristles that she pointed it at him for confirmation.

That question was the final straw. The straw that broke the camel's back, or rather the straw that broke his tried patience. "Are you looking at the same thing I am looking at? I am in a camel pen! Hiding! I am about to be discovered and ripped to shreds by rabid fangirls! I think this is about as desperate as it gets! Now get me out of here!" He hush-yelled at her, his rant taking on a new note of desperation and his arms waving around his head like a palm tree. Karin didn't seem to mind his rant, and in the middle of it, she began to look around again. Toushirou began to wonder if she was attention deficit.

"You know it smells deplorable here. It reminds me of the blasted cave." She told him conversationally and he wanted kill her. Great. Just perfect. He had to get the genie who was insolent, infuriating, insulting, insufferable and to top it all off, had problems with her attention span? Somebody somewhere was laughing at him right now, and he wanted to kill them. Slowly and painfully.

"Put a lid on it and just get to the wishing part already!" He snapped at her, and she seemed to remember what it was that she was supposed to be doing.

"Yes sir! So bossy damn it!" She snapped back at him. "Seriously, no need to yell. You just had to ask _once_." She told him. Putting a hand on her hip she waved her back scrubber, sending more pomegranate foam flying everywhere. Toushirou was splattered again and was about to yell at her when he was suddenly engulfed in a bright purple light. There was a sucking, pressurizing sensation all around him for a moment. Then he was hurled unceremoniously onto something soft… and grainy?

He looked around, and saw the genie standing to his left looking very smug, still wielding her back scrubber in triumph. He blinked a couple of times and once the smoke faded, he realized a very important fact.

Yes, he was far away from any form of rabid fangirl, but why was he surrounded by the entire desert? Blinking few times, he came to the undoubted conclusion. He was in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by a sea of sand.

Oh crap.

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><p><strong>Omake: <strong>

**Kon was having a pretty normal day so far. He had spent the morning at a nearby oasis spying on the young maiden bathing there and had only left once he had been discovered and unceremoniously pelted with stones by a group of very angry women. He had to say that he would do it again.**

**He strolled into the city gates, tired from the beating sun, leading his camel along by a worn rope. Kon looked around and wondered if there was a place nearby where he could tend to his camel before he went to find some food and maybe spy on a few more women. **

**After asking around for directions, he soon found a public camel pen and tied his camel up with a couple of others. Kon turned and threw a gold coin to the man who gave him some feed for his camel and then turned to pat his trusty steed. If it wasn't for her help in his speedy get away this afternoon, he had no doubt he would have a lot more bruises. **

**Suddenly Kon heard a strange sort of rumbling and shrieking that sounded a lot like a stampede. He began to look around, worried. He really did not want to be trampled to death. He was too young! He had so many years of perverted behavior and spying on young women left to live! **

**Suddenly Kon saw a flash of gold and white as a figure flew past him and dove behind the pile of feed he had just purchased. The boy was breathing heavily and Kon wondered what was wrong with him and why he was hiding. The shrieking and rumbling of the so-called stampede became more audible and Kon had to grin at his good fortune when the entire street was suddenly overrun with pretty young girls! It was like a dream he'd had before! **

**The girls were screaming something indistinguishable and Kon's attention was drawn away from them as the guy hiding behind the feed pile began to rub a golden teapot rather vigorously, muttering under his breath.**

**Kon's eyes nearly fell out of his head when, with a small poof of smoke, a nearly naked girl emerged from the spout in a puff of smoke. His eyes were glued on her figure wrapped in nothing but a towel, and he wasn't going to complain! **

**He decided that he really needed to get one of those teapots. Fast.**

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><p><strong>So? Like it? Please review! Please? If you don't then I will be forced beat you to death with Karin's back scrubber or set the rolling-pin-fangirl on you! Believe me, you really don't want that.<strong>


	3. Grand Theft Steed

**Hey ****there ****everyone! ****It ****is ****SugarFox ****back ****with C****hapter ****3 ****of ****Genie ****of ****the ****Teapot! ****Thank ****you ****for ****all ****the ****wonderful ****reviews ****and ****the ****overwhelming ****response ****on ****this ****story! ****It ****is ****honestly ****the ****most ****reviews O ****have ****ever ****received ****on ****any ****of ****my ****stories, ****so ****thank ****you!**

**Sorry ****this ****chapter ****is ****a ****little ****late, ****but ****since ****my ****last ****update ****I ****have ****finished ****high ****school, ****moved ****out ****of ****my ****flat, ****and ****painted ****the ****kitchen ****of ****my ****parents ****house ****and ****redone ****my ****entire ****bedroom. ****So ****you ****guys ****are ****lucky. ****I ****was ****up ****burning ****midnight ****oil ****to ****get ****this ****to ****you ****guys! ****Oh, ****and ****a ****huge ****thank ****you ****to ****HoneyBadger ****who ****betaed ****this ****in ****record ****time ****and ****helped ****me ****a ****lot ****with ****this ****chappie ****when ****I ****was ****stuck!**

**Oh, ****and ****HoneyBadger ****and ****I ****are ****going ****away ****on ****a ****holiday ****to ****the ****beach ****for ****a ****couple ****of ****days ****so ****I ****will ****have ****lots ****of ****time ****to ****write ****more ****chapters ****for ****you ****guys! ****More ****towards ****Christmas, ****I ****will ****have ****less ****time ****since ****I ****am ****expected ****to ****spend ****time ****with ****family ****and ****I ****am ****being ****kicked ****out ****of ****my ****room ****because ****my ****relatives ****need ****a ****bed ****to ****sleep ****in. ****Drat.**

**Ok! ****Enough ****of ****my ****incessant ****rambling! ****This ****chapter ****also ****has ****an ****omake ****on ****the ****end, ****so ****enjoy ****and ****please ****review!**

**Title: ****Genie ****of ****the ****Teapot ****(Chapter****3 ****- ****Grand ****Theft ****Steed)**

**Author: ****MeteorLeopard ****(SugarFox)**

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><p>Toushirou sank to his knees in the sand and rubbed his eyes with his hands in disbelief. There was no way on this earth that that had just happened. There was no way he had just been transported kilometers away from the city and landed up in the middle of the desert, surrounded by this depressing sea of sand and in the company of a genie who looked very smug with herself. (Was this a good time to mention that she was still dressed in nothing but her white towel? Would it kill her to put some freaking clothes on?<p>

The mere experience of it was overwhelming. To be one hundred percent honest he wasn't quite sure had had believed she was a genie until that happened, even if she did come out of a teapot.

It was one thing to have a genie, but it was another thing to actually have a wish granted to such an extent and find oneself in the middle of nowhere. Now that was a completely different story. Not to mention that travelling through dimensions was as pleasant as riding a galloping camel where you pretty much get thrown around like a sack of potatoes. It was awful really, and he was feeling a little sick, but he brushed it off to deal with his new predicament. He had a bone to pick with that good for nothing genie!

Still kneeling in the sand, Toushirou turned his torso in her direction and pointed an accusing finger at her. "You! You did this!" He practically growled at her.

Karin turned, and for the first time since they arrived actually acknowledged his presence, where he was kneeling on the sand beside her. "I know right! I can't believe I got it right!" She told him happily surveying her handiwork with a smug grin, and for a few seconds Toushirou could only splutter in bewilderment. She thought she had done something right? She was clearly delusional or something. What part of this looked even remotely right? She was off her cotton picking tree that was for damn sure!

"Are you kidding me? I am in the middle of the desert!" Toushirou stood up quickly and continued to yell at her, pacing back and forth whilst kicking sand around with his heels. She had clearly started the pacing thing and now it had rubbed off on him, so to speak. "I told you to get me out of there, not transport me to the desert!" His berating reached a new peak and he wanted to kill the probably immortal and completely unhelpful genie. What part of this looked even vaguely like a success?

Karin's buzz from what she deemed a completely successful wish, that didn't blow anything up or kill anyone, seemed to fade and the grin on her features was replaced by a defying glare. "You told me to get you out of there, and I did." She told him firmly and crossed her arms over her chest in irritation.

"So you though that gave you permission to set me down in the middle of nowhere?" He yelled, waving his hands above his head like a deranged man. In the far distance, somewhere to his right, he could see a dark splodge on the horizon, which he assumed to be the city. What was wrong with this genie? Didn't she have at least a mango's worth of common sense? This was probably the first time he had ever lost his temper with anybody since he was much younger, but his genie was just asking for a tongue-lashing from yours truly.

"You weren't specific!" Karin snapped at him, it was the first time that she was raising her voice to her master, but this white haired twerp was just asking for it! If it were up to her, she would have just left him to the mercy of the fangirls and be ripped to shreds! He should just be thankful that she had managed to get him here without leaving a limb or two behind. Transporting humans through dimensions was not a walk in the marketplace you know. You would think that he would be more grateful, but no! That would just be too much for a mere human to accomplish! It appeared that gratitude was a value lost in the sands of time!

"So you automatically thought to dump me in the middle of the desert with no sign of civilization for miles?" Toushirou asked her angrily, the sarcasm just dripping from his voice, and the pitch of his shouting dropping just slightly as he ran out of breath to keep up the stream of yelling.

"Well, like I said, you weren't specific. You told me to get you out of there and I did. Wish granted." Karin told him, and swung her back scrubber onto her shoulder, glaring at Toushirou with a look that dared him to say something about it. Toushirou was not easily daunted and stomped his foot into the sand in a childish manner.

"I want a retake on that wish! You are ripping me off here, genie!" He told her, and Karin just shook her head at his request. What did he take her for? Some kind of travelling gypsy that could just give him another palm reading for a gold coin? For goodness sake! These were rare wishes, and he could only get three, and no matter how much he wanted do his petty little retake Karin was bound to only those three. Tough cookie.

"Sorry. It doesn't work like that. I can only grant you three wishes, and now because of your thoughtless inaccuracy, you only have two left." She told him and he didn't seem to want to accept this summary of her genie abilities. He seemed determined to get another wish if it killed him. However, now that he thought about it, he might just die out here in the middle of the desert!

"You are a genie. All-powerful and what not, and you can't even grant an extra wish for a person who you cheated? What kind of pathetic genie are you?" He asked her sulkily and she just frowned at him in annoyance. How dare he insult her power!

"Be careful what you say with that tongue or I will summon a rather large pair of scissors and remove it." She threatened him, leaning over him as she floated in the air and poking him with her back scrubber for maximum effect. "Besides, I am bound by Lamp Society laws, so I guess that is just your bad luck."

Toushirou grumbled under his breath about having the worst luck in the world and something about getting up on the wrong side of the bed this morning before he sank down into the sand again. Sitting with his legs crossed, he pulled the covering off his head and ran a hand through his hair in exasperation of his situation.

Toushirou was at loss of what to do. It was a good few hours until sunset and the city gates were locked for the night. He could see the outline of the city in the distance, but even then it was still_at__least_half a day's journey on foot and he was bound to die of dehydration since he didn't have any supplies what so ever. He'd dropped his bag of nuts and water during the chase with the mad fan girls. Not to mention the fit that Matsumoto would have if he didn't come back to the palace on time. She would be sure to make a huge embarrassing spectacle of his disappearance. The last thing he needed was to have a spanner thrown in the works of his runaway. It was a tough predicament.

Karin didn't appear to be affected by the situation at all and decided to find something to distract herself with. Spotting a beetle scuttling across the sand, she began to follow it and prod it with her back scrubber. The purple smoke trailing behind her becoming thinner and thinner, as she got further and further away from her teapot. Toushirou couldn't believe that she was stalking beetles when she was supposed to be helping him get the hell out of there! What was wrong with her?

"So now what?" He asked her, and Karin turned away from her beetle stalking and moved back to where Toushirou was sitting. She crossed her legs and sat in thin air, a thoughtful expression on her face before she shook her head. Luckily her towel was long enough.

"Well I don't know about you, but I am going to return to my teapot and finish my bath. You know, the one that you rudely interrupted. Unless you need another wish. Then I will grant it and then go back to my bath." Karin shrugged and Toushirou glared at her and her complete lack of a conscience about what she had done to him.

He continued to think about it for awhile. He could either walk home and get there late, prompting him to spend the night outside the city walls in the freezing desert temperatures and have Matsumoto panic, which would get him placed under her supervision and render his plans for escape useless. Toushirou looked around again, trying to spot a caravan of merchants or the like coming past who could perhaps give him a lift. There were none and he shook his head. Of course, all of the traders had already arrived at the city a long time ago, early in the morning to sell their wares to the morning shoppers. They wouldn't arrive now in the heat of the day. Toushirou sighed, coming to the most basic conclusion.

He had to use another wish. It wasn't the most desirable of solutions since that meant that he only had one wish left to get out of the palace and travel the world, but it was the most logical. Toushirou studied the genie closer and began to weigh up his options of what the best thing to wish for.

He didn't really trust her to wish him home. He would probably end up in the tundra! If he wished for her to send him home to the palace, she would probably deposit him in any random palace, and he didn't particularly like the idea of travelling through that dimension again. Travelling through that unknown space had felt like he was being beaten to death by rolling pin girl and squeezed through a cheese press while camels danced on his mangled remains, all at the same time.

Not something that he would willingly repeat.

If he wished for a mode of transportation, he could get home in good time and she would have nothing to do with how and when he got home. He could send her back to the teapot before she managed to set him down in another random place and he could travel in peace. Now that sounded like a plan.

He could wish for a horse and start out home. If he was lucky and he kept the pace up, he would be home just before sunset and the gates closed for the night. He also wouldn't have to feel Matsumoto's wrath as she rampaged the palace looking for him. Also, he could keep the mode of transportation and not feel guilty about taking a horse from the stables of his home when he escaped, so this wish had a dual purpose.

While Toushirou was trying to think about his new master plan, weighing up his options, he noted that Karin was suddenly gone. He began to look around frantically. Where did she go? He needed her damn it! She had better not have abandoned him out here or he would beat her to death with her own teapot when he found her!

"Genie!" He snapped irritably while glaring at the sand dunes around him. There was no answer. Toushirou was beginning to wonder if he had imagined it all. No, he shook his head curtly. The fact that he was in the middle of the desert was proof enough, and he was not the delusional type. At least not by choice, and he did not have an imagination that was big enough to conjure up a dream of this proportion. So this whole thing really must be real and his genie had gone off gallivanting somewhere when he needed her.

Toushirou stood and then yelled again. "You good for nothing genie! Get back here right now!" He threatened, shaking his fist in the air for good effect. Nothing. No response. Zilch.

Maybe she went back into her teapot, he wondered. Toushirou picked up the gold jewel encrusted teapot and was about to rub it, just to check if she was there otherwise he would feel like a total fruitcake yelling and cursing her for disappearing on him, when he noticed something strange. The single string of smoke was still coming out of the teapot, except it was greatly reduced and seemed to travel a few feet before connecting to a large black beetle scuttling across the sand merrily. Toushirou followed it, prodded it with a hesitant finger and he could swear that the beetle glared at him. It didn't take too long to connect the coconuts. Then hoping that he was not crazy, began to yell furiously at the beetle, his temper on its last shred.

"Are you crazy? I am in a crisis and you feel the distinct need to turn yourself into a freaking rhino beetle! What is wrong with you!" Toushirou freaked out, and a mere split second later the beetle disappeared and his genie stood there looking super irritated.

"Did you have to poke me so freaking hard?" She asked him snippily rubbing her back with a single hand to numb the pain and he slapped his hand on his forehead in pure desperation. Was that the only thing that she seemed to adsorb from the entire exchange?

"Didn't you hear me calling you?" He enquired shortly, and she shook her head. No wonder she didn't come when he called her. What a nuisance. If she kept turning into insects, he would lose her all the time! Not to mention, if she turned into anything bug like in the palace, Matsumoto would squash her. There was nothing quite as fearsome as Matsumoto with a broom.

"I was a beetle. It is not like they have huge ears you know. If it makes you feel better, next time I will turn into an elephant." She told him rather bossily, and he chose to ignore her snide comment.

"Whatever." He just waved his hand irritably. "I want to use another one of my wishes." He told her seriously, and she suddenly seemed interested in what he had to say.

"So what will it be? A lifetime supply of hazelnuts? A new set of golden forks? Or a veggie garden so you can finally grow?" She asked him and he bristled at her last suggestion. She sure had some cheek!

"I am not short!" He snapped at her, and she shook her head slowly.

"I didn't say you were. I meant growing veggies. What were you thinking about?" She told him simply, a huge smirk on her features, and Toushirou got the feeling that she was making fun of him. Actually, now that he had a second to think about it, he couldn't think of a moment that she didn't seem to be teasing him.

"Never mind." He muttered, deciding that arguing with her really wasn't worth the effort right now. "Listen carefully and get this right. I wish that I had a good horse to travel home with. Preferably an Arab, a stallion, fresh, young, nice to ride, and fully stocked with supplies to get me home." He told her his wish and Karin seemed to ponder on it for a second. Taking in every single detail of his wish with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Do you want it to talk and do a belly dance too?" Karin asked sarcastically, rolling her eyes at his very specific requirements.

"That won't be necessary, thank you very much." He replied shortly with just as much patronizing sarcasm. She just sighed at his complicated and very specific request.

Karin closed her eyes and, placing her hands together, palms against each other, she pulled them apart slowly to bring forth a huge ball of purple light. It grew bigger and bigger before Toushirou found his vision engulfed in the bright light once again.

When he opened his eyes, he was quite happy to see a rather handsome pure white stallion. It was just standing patiently waiting to take him home, it was also adorned with a fancy royal looking bridle and saddle with fashionable tassels. He was impressed.

"Now that is a very nice horse." He complimented her, and she looked very smug again.

"Yes, it is a very nice horse." She agreed happily. She had managed to conjure a horse and nothing bad had happened! Yes! That was two successful wishes in one day for Karin Kurosaki! Take that, Murphy! Karin was more than pleased with herself and, if it was up to her, she would summon the entire family to see her superior successful wish granting skills. Except then she would have to explain how her master ended up in the desert in the first place, and she was not in the mood to have Ichi-nii teasing her about it.

"So where did you get it?" Toushirou asked her, while he approached the horse, and stroked its nose affectionately. His anger with her was temporarily forgotten now that she hadn't been completely useless for a change.

"Goodness only knows." She shrugged, twirling her back scrubber between her fingers and not looking particularly worried about where it had come from. "Genies can't really create things out of thin air you know. We can only transform and manipulate things that already exist. Or even easier, we can just zap something here from somewhere else." She explained easily, and Toushirou turned to stare at her, his eyes wide with shock.

"So you stole it?" He asked incredulously.

"Don't be so crude." Karin told him simply, waving her back scrubber around her head and looking seeming uninterested in his sudden complaint. Toushirou didn't seem convinced and turned away, putting a foot into a stirrup to mount this new steed.

"Besides, if anyone stole it, you did." Karin told him simply, and Toushirou nearly fell off the horse from shock in the middle of getting on.

"What do you mean, I stole it!" He asked her, clearly outraged at her accusation.

"Well you wished for it." She told him simply. "I was just doing my job so it is your fault. Now if you would excuse me, I really want to finish my bath. If it is cold, it is your fault and I won't be happy." She told him. He remained silent, trying not to yell at her again. It was strange how he never yelled at anybody, and how suddenly in a couple of hours his throat actually felt hoarse from all the shouting he seemed to be doing from dealing with this silly genie.

Karin the genie disappeared in a puff of smoke, returning to her bath, and when she was gone Toushirou didn't know whether or not he was happy with her absence. He didn't really like being alone, and he often felt quite lonely in the palace by himself. Having someone to talk to was somewhat of a novelty, even if she was completely infuriating sometimes. He took a deep breath and listened to the eerie silence around him. For once, he settled with reveling in the peaceful quiet of the desert. There was only the wind and the rustling of the sand. He was about to start out home with the teapot tied to the saddle when Karin suddenly reappeared with a quick poof.

"Also another thing." She started, and Toushirou longed for the silence once again. It was so fleeting, and so joyous, he pondered wistfully.

"What is it?" He asked her tiredly, and she didn't seem to mind that he didn't really want to listen to her.

"Could you please stop man handling my teapot all the time?" She told him firmly, and Toushirou frowned at her. "I am tired of trying to rearrange the furniture every time you carry it! You know how hard it is to get a painting hung up on a concave wall? It isn't something magic can do easily you know!" She rattled off on one of her tangents again and Toushirou just nodded at her strange request.

"Yeah yeah, whatever." He agreed and Karin didn't seem to be satisfied with his complete and utter lack of sympathy for her and her furniture problem.

"Good. Now I have to go rerun my bath since somebody so rudely let the water go cold." She made a jibe at him before disappearing into her golden home once more.

Toushirou felt exhausted and had a throbbing headache in his temples. The sooner he got home, the better. Hopefully Matsumoto hadn't already called out the cavalry.

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><p><strong><span>Omake<span>****  
><strong>

**Prince ****Ishida ****Uryuu ****of ****the ****Karakura ****Sands ****was ****on ****a ****great ****expedition ****to ****visit ****his ****lovely ****bride-****to-****be, ****who ****would ****rule ****by ****his ****side ****when ****he ****took ****over ****the ****kingdom. ****He ****had ****his ****servants ****pack ****up ****the ****necessary ****items ****he ****would ****need ****for ****his ****trip ****to ****the ****lands ****beyond ****his ****boarders.**

**His ****father ****was ****very ****against ****this t****rip, ****and ****the ****older ****Ishida ****did ****not ****believe ****that ****the ****prince ****would ****be ****able ****to ****travel ****on ****his ****own ****for ****such ****a ****long ****journey. ****The ****king ****had ****wanted ****his ****son ****to ****at ****least ****take ****some ****servants ****along ****with ****him, ****and ****after ****much ****insistence, ****he ****had ****managed ****to ****wear ****his ****son ****down ****into ****taking ****two ****servants ****along. ****It ****was ****probably ****a ****good ****thing ****too...**

**Uryuu ****mounted ****his ****graceful ****steed ****and ****began ****his ****journey ****to ****see ****his ****love. ****The ****lovely ****Inoue****Orihime, ****a ****princess ****of ****a ****distant ****land a****nd ****his ****betrothed ****from ****birth. ****His ****horse ****was ****a ****fine ****specimen, ****and ****was ****in ****fact ****an ****early ****wedding ****present ****from ****his ****father. ****The ****Arab ****stallion ****was ****of ****the ****purest ****white ****and ****was ****tacked ****up ****in ****the ****royal ****attire ****of ****Karakura ****Sands. ****It ****was ****said ****that ****this ****horse ****was ****worth ****more ****than ****the ****entire ****country's ****annual ****health ****care ****budget, ****and ****a on****e-****of-****a-****kind ****that ****was ****shipped ****in ****from ****halfway ****across ****the ****world.**

**After ****days ****of ****riding, ****Uryuu ****was ****pleased ****to ****say ****that ****his ****steed ****was ****genuinely ****one-****of-****a-****kind, ****and ****a ****hardy ****horse ****that ****would ****get ****him ****across ****the ****desert ****with ****ease. ****He ****had ****been ****in ****the ****desert ****for ****over ****a ****week ****and ****had ****stopped ****at ****an ****oasis ****for ****a ****refreshing ****pit-****stop ****before ****continuing ****his ****journey. ****After ****a ****few ****hours ****of ****resting, ****he ****remounted ****and ****called ****for ****the ****servants ****to ****do ****the ****same. ****Sitting ****on ****his ****steed ****waiting ****to ****depart, ****Uryuu ****suddenly ****felt ****as ****though ****he ****was ****falling, ****and ****before ****he ****could ****so ****much ****as ****blink ****he ****found ****himself ****sitting ****in ****the ****sand, ****and ****his ****horse ****was ****gone. ****Not ****run-away-gone, ****but ****poof-disappeared-from-underneath-him-gone.**

**"My ****horse!" ****Uryuu ****wailed. ****Luckily, ****he ****had ****his ****servants ****to ****help ****him, ****and ****he ****had ****to ****grudgingly ****admit ****that ****his ****father ****might ****have ****been ****right. ****Damn ****him!**

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><p><strong>Please <strong>**review! ****(You ****know ****you ****want ****to****…****)**

**Lots ****of ****Love!**


	4. Sign the Contract, Paper Plate

**Hello dearies! **

**I feel almost scared to make my appearance after all the reviews I have received to update this story! (Thank you! I didn't think that you guys would like my small attempt at humour so much.) It has been over a year since I last posted a chapter and I promise it was not my intention to neglect this story. It was just that HoneyBadger and I went away to university and suddenly we didn't have any time to write. Then during the holidays we ended up working on our own book. You will be pleased to know that due to us having finished it that we will have a bit more time to update our stories. :)**

**Here is a very long awaited chapter for you guys. I am not going to make any promises on the next chapter but hopefully I will have a bit of free time to do it sometime soon. In the meantime read this and HoneyBadger's "Oblivion" story.**

**Lots of love!**

**Author: MeteorLeopard (SugarFox) **

**Title: Chapter 4 – Sign the contract, Paper Plate!**

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><p>"Hitsugaya Toushirou! Don't you dare walk away - "<p>

SLAM

Toushirou effectively cut off his aunt's ranting and placed a welcomed barrier between the two of them. Matsumoto Rangiku, his mother's sister, had raised him since his mother had died nearly fifteen years ago. He loved her dearly, but sometimes she could be a bit much. Having Matsumoto as an aunt was like being caught in sand storm. You got blasted a lot and often needed to hide before she reached her peak. She could whirl in and create huge scene if you didn't seek shelter fast enough. This time his room was his safe haven. He was well aware that she probably felt rather embarrassed when he didn't pitch for her little soiree this afternoon. It wasn't that he didn't feel a little guilty for missing the pointless tea party she had organized for him. He would actually soak himself in a little more remorse if she had in fact bothered to ask him if he was going to attend. Although, right now it was just that he was too exhausted to care.

He had finally made it back to the palace after a couple of hours on horseback and he was beginning to feel the effects of the trip. He felt like a raisin. He was worn out, sticky from sweat, and dying of thirst. He had a pounding headache and hoped that he had not acquired sunstroke as he had lost his head covering when he was fleeing from those enthusiastic harpies. After the afternoon that he had, he honestly did not need Matsumoto breathing down his neck about marriage again. All he really wanted was to shower and get some desperately needed rest. Then he would ponder on his grand escape plan to travel the country. With the new addition of the genie in his strategic exit from the palace he was sure to get away without being detected.

The only problem now was using his last wish in a way that she couldn't mess it up. She was very good at doing things wrong and then being a stubborn mule about it. He just had to be very clever bout how he did it. It didn't have to be anything long term. He did intend to return home after a year or two. He wasn't running away from home. It was more like he was taking an extended vacation without telling anyone.

Toushirou morphed across his room rather wearily and dumped all his baggage onto his bed. He had needed to remove all the supplies off his horse before it was led away by a servant to be stabled for the night. When his father met him as he dismounted, the older man had been absolutely enchanted by the fine specimen. Ukitake had asked his son where he got it from, and Toushirou hadn't lied when he said he had found it in the desert. Found it or genie conjuring it, it's all the same thing really. Then Matsumoto had started yelling and he made himself scarce, leaving his father looking at the steed's teeth like the diehard equine lover he was.

When his baggage scattered sand all over the expensive silk bed covers Toushirou hardly batted an eyelid. The teapot was then placed carefully onto his bedside table. He didn't have to hide it away. He was sure no one would dare to steal something out of his personal chambers. Not unless they wanted to be buried alive or thrown into a pit of scorpions. Yes, the penalty for theft was that severe in this region of the world. He made his way towards his en suite bathroom and turned on the shower with a slow hand. He then began to strip out of his light clothing, dropped it to the floor and stepped into the cool stream of water. He groaned as the water washed away the evidence of his terrible day. He could hardly believe that it had only been half a day since he had become the owner of a genie. It felt like a lifetime already. She was just so much work to deal with, and to top it off she wouldn't shut up! In his current position in politics Toushirou rarely found someone who would talk back at him, least of all a female. While it was a nice change on the one hand, it was draining on the other. After ten minutes of paradise, washing away all the sand, he finished his shower and made his way back to his room with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.

As he entered his room he nearly had a heart failure to see that the blasted genie had left her teapot and was running ahem, floating amok! Her wisp of smoke was rather far from her teapot's place on his bedside table and she looked as though she was snooping. She was scanning his room like a bandit examining jewels after they had stolen them from a magical cave. His surprised gasp caused her to stop studying the expensive vase she was holding and send it flying as she spun around in surprise. Toushirou's heart lurched as he dived forward. Face planting on the smooth marble floor he managed to catch it with a single hand before it shattered. Toushirou's face throbbed where it hit the floor and he raised his head from the cool stone to scowl at her. It was a miracle that his towel had remained where it should with only one hand to keep it there. The genie looked at him with an eyebrow raised as he got up off the floor mumbling about how expensive the vase was. Toushirou tried not to blush to the roots of his white locks and shook his head to get a grip. He stalked past her and placed the vase back on the mantle before glaring a warning at her. It clearly meant, 'do not touch!'

"Do you not have any sense of a person's privacy?!" He snapped at her irritably as he stalked towards his closet to find some clothes. She just shrugged at him as if she hadn't noticed his lack of clothing and picked up a porcelain statue of a battle horse.

"You didn't have any regard for my privacy earlier," She told him pointedly studying it with curious eyes. Toushirou re-emerged with pants on and noticed her man handling his belongings again. He stomped over to her with speed and purpose. Yanking the figure out of her hand he put it in its place and then went back into his walk in closet. She rolled her eyes at him and his distrust of her.

"Besides," She called after him, raising her voice slightly so he would hear her. "You have nothing I want to see, _Paper Plate_." She crossed her arms and her face took on a wicked grin. Toushirou emerged fully dressed this time looking less than impressed with her. Was she constantly just going to pop up all the time and be as useful as a cactus? (Which is not very useful, believe him.) Toushirou felt like pointing out that it didn't matter what she thought because he had a whole line of women lining up to marry him. However, he refrained because he didn't need her to remember him hiding in a smelly camel pen and then end up mocking him for being pathetic.

"Are you always going to come out whenever you feel like it?" Toushirou asked her in exasperation as the genie moved on to flop on his bed like she owned the place. He wasn't all that sure how this genie stuff worked, but he was pretty sure this genie was a bit dodgy. He knew the basics. Genies lived in lamps. Alright, so this one lived in a teapot. Strike one. Genies were supposed to grant three wishes. She did grant them, but she didn't do a very good job of it. Where was the customer service? Strike two. Genies were supposed to only emerge from said lamp (teapot) when summoned. This one just came out whenever she felt like it. Mostly to scold him or invade his privacy. Strike three. She is out!

"Nah, not really." The genie said nonchalantly, "Once you called me once I can come out whenever." She rolled around on his bed and nodded in approval. She seemed to like it a lot and Toushirou found himself wanting her to go away so he could have it back.

"Just my luck," Toushirou muttered and rubbed his temples repeatedly. Walking over to his dresser he poured himself a glass of water from the jug there and gulped it down like it was his only life line. Eye on the prize, he motivated himself internally. Soon she would be of no use to him and he could lock her in a cave where she would never bother him again. In the meantime he would have to work out his master plan.

"I didn't know you were all royalty and stuff." The genie commented wryly as she sat up and crossed her legs. "It kind of goes against my purpose to work for people who already have everything."

"How humanitarian of you," He said snidely. "But I am not royalty. I am the son of the King's advisor." He told her, not sounding at all pleased by the relation to the royal family. (He didn't mind the princess. Momo was surprisingly nice. If not a bit bossy and annoyingly weak at times. However it was expected that he would be easily irritated by the woman who was like his older sister. On the other hand, the rest of the royal family shouldn't be allowed to rule. They should honestly all be locked away for the safety of the people. Seriously. )

"Same thing," She said as she reached for some grapes in the fruit bowl next to his bed and began eating them like Queen of Sheba, dangling them above her and chomping them directly off the stalk while she continued to lounge on his bed.

"Would you just go back to your teapot?!" He snapped at her suddenly, throwing his hands in the air. "I need to think of how I can use my last wish in the most effective way." He began to pace back and forth across the Persian carpet.

"I still think the vegetable patch is your best bet," She piped up and Toushirou turned to see if she was as serious as she sounded. Her face was adorned with an innocent looking smile pulling the corners of her mouth. "I make a great bed of spinach." She made another jab at his height and it spiked his already fuming temper.

"Would you just can it!" He snapped at her, rubbing his temples more vigorously as he resumed his back and forth motion.

"The spinach?" Was her quick witted reply and Toushirou gave her an incinerating glare from behind his massaging fingers. He was about to go off on a tangent when she cut him off. "Alright, alright. No need to work yourself into a temper." She said casually as she threw her grape stalk across the room to the bin. She then got up from his bed and began floating in the middle of his room. In mid air, on her stomach and on a cloud of her own smoke as if it were some sort of inflatable mattress.

"I am not. Now shut up, I need to think about how best to get out without detection." Toushirou hoped that she would remain silent for a little bit. He then folded his frame onto one of the oriental cushions surrounding the low table in the centre of the room and sighed deeply. The genie was quiet for a little while before she repositioned her cloud mattress lower so that she only hovered a few inches above the ground. Her movement was only adding to his growing irritation as she made herself comfy across the table from him.

"Get out where exactly?" She broke the brief silence causing Toushirou to groan in frustration and bang his head one the small cedar wood table. The silence was so lovely while it lasted.

"I want to travel for a bit before my aunt makes me marry and settle down with her version of a 'nice girl'." His tone became nothing short of dreading when he got to the 'nice girl' part. She frowned thoughtfully at him while he sighed morosely.

"Like rolling pin girl?" She asked him and he let off something that sounded an awful lot like a whimper.

"Heaven forbid." He muttered as he raised his head and ran his hand through his dishevelled hair. He would rather live life as a social pariah in the midst of the desert than marry rolling pin girl. A woman like that was not suited to his personality. He needed a strong determined woman by his side. Not a placid domestic. He would not settle for anything less.

The Genie was thoughtful for a few moments before she sat up cross-legged on her little smoke cloud. Her face had an expression of devious plotting and Toushirou was a little concerned for his own safety. "So let me get this straight," She began as she leaned forward slightly. "You want to go out and see the world for a bit," She waved her hands around in a motion that he assumed was supposed to represent his departure and travels, "and then come back and continue with whatever it is that everyone expects of you?"

"Pretty much." He nodded after a second and the Genie appeared satisfied to have received the answer she wished for. Well at least someone was getting their wishes around here!

"Huh." She snorted almost nonchalantly as she leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest, "Well that is easy." She said smugly and Toushirou narrowed his eyes at her casual tone.

"What?"He near demanded that she reveal her thoughts to him. If she had an answer he wanted to hear it. Then he would put it on the list of things not to do. Ever. She was hardly chock full common sense on what was a good or bad idea.

"Oh nothing much," She waved her hand indifferently as she stretched like a cat and lay down on her cloud once more. "You just have to agree with my little plan." She grinned deviously at the ceiling with her arms linked behind her head like a cushion. Toushirou didn't trust her any further than her attention span extended, which from experience wasn't very far. Yet he was very curious as to what she could have possibly plotted that would be better than his genius ideas. Just because she had an idea, didn't mean he had to use it. It just meant he had to allow her to think that he was going to use it so she would tell him. The he would be like, 'nah, I'll think about it.' That would be sure to piss her off, and be a nice revenge for being dumped into the middle of the desert.

"How so?" He asked her whilst failing miserably in his attempt to act just as indifferent as her. The genie bounded up suddenly and her cloud disappeared with a quick 'poof'. Toushirou found himself reflexively leaning back as she promptly hung in mid air practically shoving her face in his. Despite her blatant lack of regard of his personal space Toushirou found himself studying her features. She was rather a pretty, Toushirou decided as a wide grin split across her heart shaped face and her grey eyes sparkled in excitement.

"I am a genie right?" She said and Toushirou tried not to roll his eyes at her obvious point.

"Yes," He drawled and gave a small nod in indication for her to continue her little presentation.

"So that means my magic is bound to a master with my shackles." She moved her face away from him a bit to show him the two wide brass bracelets encircling her wrists. They were noting special and Toushirou had hardly noticed them before.

"Those bracelets are your shackles?" He asked her with an eyebrow raised as he did not entirely trust her.

"Yes, and limiter to my power." She explained and Toushirou detected a hint of bitterness on the limiter part of the sentence. He supposed he would be pretty hacked off he was trapped in a teapot for all eternity too. "I need a master to be able to work my magic. Can't do squat for myself. Rather sucks," She continued her story for him. "However, this is where the trick comes in. A kind of obscure up-side, if you will. If I can find a master that I deem worthy then I can grant him unlimited wishes _if_ he takes on one of my shackles." She floated back a bit so that she was no longer hovering over the coffee table but rather on the other side. "Still following?" She enquired and Toushirou nodded with a small frown. It was far too simple, he thought.

"Yes, but why do I feel like you are leaving out a crucial detail?" His eyes on her were almost piercing as he waited for her to reveal the catch she was obviously withholding. The Genie was quiet for a few seconds as she thought how best to phrase her reply.

She ended up grinning sheepishly at him, "It is also... sort of illegal with regard to lamp society laws." Toushirou felt his patience with her wearing thin.

"What?!" He snapped at her ludicrous suggestion, "You want me to agree to something illegal?" He demanded of her and she just shrugged at his negative response.

"Oh don't be such a wet blanket," She chided him. "This is the desert. Dry up a little would you?" She told him and his glare told her exactly what he thought of her idea. So she took another approach in her attempt to convince him how brilliant her plan was. "Look," She tried again, "It's like speeding or parking your camel in a loading zone. Everyone does it and it's only bad if you get caught." She pointed out and Toushirou felt his determined spirit wavering. Even he had done that before.

"Aren't you just a model citizen?" He said sarcastically and she didn't to pay his comment any mind. Instead she began to float around his room almost as if she felt caged.

"Look, you need my help in getting out of here. So you don't really have many options." She told him and as much as Toushirou didn't like the idea of breaking the law, he really was out of options. So if he did manage to get out of the palace he'd be free. Then what? Getting captured again and dragged back by his aunt's minions would be too risky. This genie was right. However he wasn't going to agree to anything until he had all the details.

"Uh huh, anything else you would like to mention now?" He asked her and she stopped moving around the room and approached him once again. She seemed to be slightly tense and careful in her approach all of a sudden. He stared at her blank face and for a few seconds she seemed to search his eyes with hers as if looking for a tiny shred of hope in his gaze. After the few seconds of stilted silence she seemed to have made up her mind.

"Well, another result of the contract is that I get to take on a human form in order to remain inconspicuous." She told him and her face remained impassive as she waited for what she expected to be a rather negative response. Toushirou found his frown etching itself deeper into his forehead as he concentrated. Quickly he pieced together the bigger picture and comprehension dawned.

"So wait," He fixed a hard look on her. "I take a shackle, you become human with genie powers and I get as many wishes as I want?" His tone dared her to leave a single detail out of the story. If he was going to do this contract thing he wanted the full picture. She had better just tell him the truth or face his wrath.

"Yes." She nodded in agreement.

"If it was as simple as that, then why haven't you done it before?" Toushirou questioned her. It seemed to be a little bit too easy. The Genie shrugged again and Toushirou wondered if it was her favourite reaction to most things.

"I guess didn't have many previous masters who I deemed worthy of the honour," She tried not to make a big deal of it but Toushirou detected an underlying hint of trust on her part. She would hardly make the offer to give him control of her full power if she didn't deem him worthy of it. Somehow it made him like her a little bit more than before. It was nice to have someone around who wasn't concerned by his political position or money.

"Oh wow. Thanks I guess." It was his turn to feel a little sheepish and her face broke out into an amused smile.

"Don't let it go to your head," She told him shortly. "You also happen to be the only one I have met who shares my dream to travel the world freely." She admitted and Toushirou didn't know whether to feel worse because of her crushing his new positive feeling towards her or better because they actually had something in common.

"So you are using me for your own benefit?" He found himself half heartedly joking and the genie's grin became almost canine in its amusement.

"No more than you are using me for yours." She countered with her quick witted nature and Toushirou chuckled. She really was very quick to reply to almost anything he threw at her.

"Touché." He remarked offhandedly as he rose from where he was sitting.

"So do we have a deal?" She asked him and he gave her a single nod of affirmation.

"I guess so." He agreed and she bounced around happily whilst giving the air a victorious punch. Her success was short lived as she suddenly froze and zoomed across the room and into his personal space once again.

"However," She told him irritably as she poked his chest a few times "before we sign I am warning you." She threatened him menacingly. "If you don't stop referring to me as 'genie' instead Karin I will self implode and take you down in the explosion. Do we understand each other?" She poked him a few more times for emphasis throughout her speech and Toushirou wanted to chuckle at the creativeness of the threat. He would have if he wasn't sure she would follow through on her word.

"Perfectly, _Karin,_" He agreed and she looked completely pleased with herself.

"Good." She said with a rewarding yet patronizing pat on his head. Toushirou felt his temper rising but he didn't get a chance to explode because she suddenly quipped, "Now Paper Plate, to the fabric store!" With that she suddenly disappeared into thin air with a crack and a dramatic burst of smoke. Toushirou was left staring at the space she used to occupy in bewilderment.

"The fabric store?" He questioned the empty room with a weary rub of his head. Toushirou just knew she was going to be more trouble than she was worth. What was he thinking? He'd b travelling the world with her. Good grief. Expecting her to be gone for awhile Toushirou nearly jumped ten feet when a minute later she reappeared with another loud bang.

"I am back!" She cheered and Toushirou raised an eyebrow at her good mood. She really was too energetic.

"From the fabric store?" He asked her feeling slightly confused from her odd parting words.

"No you idiot, from my attorney." She snapped at him as she waved large manila envelope around for him to see.

"But you said you were going to the fabric store." He pointed out and she shrugged again.

"Nah, that's just my departing catch phrase." She revealed with a wave of her hand that clearly classified it as unimportant.

"Of course, how silly of me." Toushirou's tone was snarky and he rolled his eyes at her theatrics.

She didn't care and removed the papers from the envelope, "Now quit wasting my time." She admonished him as she slammed them down on the coffee table, "Sign here, here and here."

Toushirou found himself taking the pen she handed him and signing. Simultaneously wondering what he was getting himself into.

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><p><strong>Omake:<strong>

**Matsumoto Rangiku was highly annoyed at her nephew. Not only had he snuck out this afternoon he had also refused to tell where he had been! She found herself compelled to complain to her brother in law about his son's rebellious streak and hesitance to settle down. Actually hesitance was putting it mildly. Toushirou appeared to treat marriage as if it was a death sentence! Matsumoto found herself at loss on what to do. So she decided that a lengthily complaining rant to his father would be best.**

"**Your son is impossible!" She scolded Ukitake as she paced around the stable waving her arms dramatically for emphasis, "He doesn't even want to meet the nice girls I set up for him!" **

**Ukitake wasn't really paying any attention to his sister in law preferring to stroke the nose of the fine equine specimen that his son had found in the desert. "He will settle down when he wants to, Rangiku." He told her and this was clearly not the answer she wanted from him.**

"**I don't understand why he won't even consider them!" She seemed at a loss, "Some of them are really very nice." She sounded so mournful that Ukitake turned to give her a pitying look. "Especially Madeline, she is a doll!" Matsumoto picked up her complaining again.**

"**Rolling pin girl?!" Ukitake questioned suddenly and Matsumoto nodded.**

"**She will make a lovely little wife!" She said almost wistfully and Ukitake shook his head quickly.**

"**Absolutely not!"**

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><p>PLEASE REVIEW!<p> 


	5. This is Complete Shrubbish!

**Hello! Believe it or not, it's another update! GASP SHOCK HORROR! ;)**

**I just want to say thank you to my reviewers that took the time to review my last chapter. The few of you who took the time to drop me a line really inspired me to push the next chapter. So it's thanks to them that you didn't have to wait over a year for this. Please keep the reviews coming in they really are the best incentive for a writer. **

**So this is one of the last chapters in which Toushirou and Karin battle to get along. From the next chapter there will be a guest appearance and some developing magical fluff! So enjoy the chaotic life Toushirou has as he tried to deal with Karin, the unluckiest genie in the world! **

**Enjoy! **

**SugarFox**

**Chapter 5 – This is Complete Shrubbish!**

Toushirou was dying. An agonisingly slow withering and dehydrating death. If he survived this he was going to kill Karin faster than she could say her stupid departing catch phrase! Now, before anyone thinks that he is being overly dramatic perhaps he should back track a little bit in order to clearly explain how and why he was currently facing his untimely demise.

Two days ago he and Karin (the stupid, good for nothing, useless genie) had staged their grand getaway from the palace, a mere six hours after he had signed the contract and one of her shackles appeared on his wrist. He found the thick oriental looking bracelet odd at first, but after a while he hardly felt it. (Was he concerned about being put into magical chains? Not particularly. Should he be? Perhaps. There should at least be some concern when one finds themselves bound to a genie who was about as useful as a chocolate teapot.) They stole away in the dead of the night like thieves without being detected by a single guard. At the time he wondered if he should be concerned over how lax the security was but brushed it off and thanked his lucky stars that it was.

He had left a letter for his aunt and his father explaining that he was going to go travelling for awhile and that he would be back in a year or so. At least, he hoped he would be. The rate that Karin put his life in danger he would be lucky to be alive to see next week's annual Cactus Festival. Never mind next year's one. Point was, that he would return if he had in fact survived. Additionally if he was alive he would be sure to donate a large sum of money to the Give Cacti Water Fund. He only hoped that Karma or whatever other deity was out there would hear his promise and spare him.

Besides he wasn't going away forever because even he knew that he did have to settle down eventually. Just not right now, and most definitely not with rolling pin girl! He had felt slightly guilty taking the coward's way out and not saying goodbye to their faces, but he couldn't risk Matsumoto having one of her sandstorm freak out sessions. He could almost feel the sand burns he would have gotten... To top it off she would probably burst to tears or something and seeing her cry was the one thing he could not handle. Matsumoto was the splitting image of his mother, if not the more frivolous of the two. It went against his nature to upset her to the point of tears. So he would rather not be around when the camel dung hit the proverbial fan.

So they had crept towards the stables and Toushirou had saddled up the horse that Karin had conjured for him in the desert. The beautiful Arab had given him a sort of shrugging look and was hardly concerned that he was being taken out in the middle of the night. Perhaps it was just Toushirou's imagination, but he could swear that the horse understood most of what he said to it. It was so odd. However he didn't have time to ponder on his steed's intelligence as he packed up his supplies.

Then problem of Karin's steed arose. She also needed a horse to ride around on their little escapade. Before he could so much as offer to let her have one of the palace horses Karin said she would make her own plan. With a snap of her fingers Toushirou suddenly found himself wrestling his food supplies away from the stubborn trunk of the biggest elephant he had ever seen. The large beast huffed and stood stubbornly in the middle of the stable. It appeared to be quite unconcerned that its head was well into the rafters and continued to battle Toushirou for his bag.

"I meant to summon a camel," She frowned deeply and then turned to watch him struggle. "But this will do right?" Toushirou wondered how the hell one managed to get a camel and an elephant mixed up but he was in no position to be making any comments as the elephant only got more determined.

"No!" He hissed at her and dug his heels into the ground to aid his tug of war battle. What was wrong with Karin? Did she not have a single bone in her body that pointed out how stupid it was to summon an elephant when they were trying to make an inconspicuous getaway from the palace?! No, that would be too much to ask of her! Next thing he knew she would probably summon them a farewell moat with belly dancers and fireworks! Before he knew it Matsumoto would have him thrown into the dungeons until his wedding day to rolling pin girl and it would be Karin's fault. He bloody well wouldn't put it past her! She really had no grasp on subtlety. She was like a porcupine in a balloon store! Hmph.

"Too ostentatious?" She asked him thoughtfully with a finger on her chin. He had growled at her as he finally got his bag back with a forceful tug. Completely flustered from the exertion he snapped that with the speed of an elephant they wouldn't even make out of the gates by dawn! Karin seemed disappointed but with a wave of her hand the giant creature vanished. She then raised her had to presumably try again. Instead there was a couple of clicking sounds and then some smoke. Toushirou wondered what had happened and dread gripped him as the smoke cleared. All he saw was long necks and spots in each stall. Giraffes!

"Whoops!" Karin blurted out sheepishly as Toushirou groaned at the sight. Somehow she had managed to turn all the horses in the stables into very confused looking giraffes! Was she trying to turn his stables into an African safari?! Apparently. He shuddered to think what she would bring about next if he didn't sort this out quickly.

"Fix it!" He hissed at her in exasperation tugging on his hair.

"But they are so beautiful!" She said happily. Her grin faltered when she saw his livid gaze and with another snap of her fingers a horse appeared next to his and the giraffes were horses once again.

This horse was an equally beautiful Arab that looked so similar to his own he wondered if she had just duplicated it. It also had all those royal looking trappings and expensive leather tack that his one did. He began to wonder who this poor person was that she was taking advantage from. Toushirou was about to ask her where she and got it when he decided that he would rather not know. Heavens only knew where she stole this one from.

"Huh," She frowned once again. "Still not a camel. Oh well, this will have to do." She shrugged and then began packing her supplies. He wondered if he should be concerned that she wasn't very good at conjuring things. He also hoped that the elephant had made it back home safely and that the horses suffered no subsequent mental trauma in her lieu.

Despite their rocky beginning they stole into the night as if they were bandits and Toushirou was high on adrenaline. The exhilarating freedom of getting out of the palace and knowing that he didn't have to be back by a certain time was so exciting! He wondered what he should do first? Where he should go first and experience. He wanted to ask Karin if she had any thoughts of things that she wanted to do but... she was dead asleep. Apparently she did not seem to share his enthusiasm at this current point in time as she was not a morning person. Toushirou made a mental note to use this to swing things in his own favour at some stage. (The next time she made a disparaging comment or something akin he would be sure to wake her up extra early. Mwahahahahahahaha!)

So Karin was not responsive to his questions as she had somehow managed to go back to sleep on horseback. She was dead to the world and snoring gently in the most ridiculous position whilst being tossed back and forth by the ride. He didn't know how she managed it and to top it off she didn't wake up again until the sun had risen and they were approaching the next town over. They decided not to stop and just head straight for the next town. It was best if they got away as far away as possible as soon as they could. By nightfall they had reached the large town of Hueco Mundo. They found shelter in a plain but respectable looking inn for the night and put their horses into the stables with feed and water of their own.

Hueco Mundo was a very eerie town and that was putting it lightly. It made Toushirou paranoid. He was beginning to feel the need to look over his shoulder every three or four steps. It was somehow too quiet here and he just knew there was something afoot. He tried to shrug off the feeling by scolding himself for being silly but his instincts would not abate. On the surface the town appeared to be the same as any other town. Rather vast with a market place, a wall surrounding the outside of it and large number of closely packed white houses. Nothing that one could specifically suspicious about. Yet under the dark of the night it had a sinister air and a cloud of anticipation.

The trouble had started just after dawn. Toushirou had awoken to shouting voices and an unnecessary amount of doors slamming. He groggily raised his head from under his blanket to only to have it unceremoniously ripped from his person. He blinked a few times feeling bewildered and the cool morning air accosted him. Despite the early hour Karin was awake and was using her magic to frantically pack their belongings. Food supplies, water canisters and clothes were animated by her magic and had a life of their own as they rushed and dived into bags. Karin was rushing after one of Toushirou's shoes that refused to be caught and was trying to hide under the bed.

"I will have your soul!" She hissed, "Lace- ten to me!" She flung her silly pun at his poor shoe when she lunged for it. Pouncing on it she packed it forcefully and then snapped her fingers to inanimate the objects.

At that moment the door to their room was blasted off its hinges and Toushirou felt himself shrinking.

"Woman." The man spoke with perfect nonchalance. He was dressed in white with the most piercing emerald gaze Toushirou had ever seen. He also had tears tattoos down his face and the palest skin Toushirou had ever seen. He looked like a walking corpse! Toushirou wondered if this scary looking man had ever battled with sunburn like he did. He honestly wanted to ask the man what sun block he used. It must be some pretty strong stuff. Toushirou wanted to ask him, the only problem being the fact that when he opened his mouth all that came out was a tiny yipping noise. Oh no she didn't! Karin was so dead! She did not turn him into a dog, she did not! However the urge to chew something and bark at this stranger was confirmation enough for him. That and he could swear he felt a flea behind his ear!

Meanwhile she was unperturbed and viewed the man with a look of calm.

"Can I help you?" She asked him calmly with a hand on her hip a raised eyebrow, "You should know better to burst in on a lady's bed chambers." She warned him in all seriousness. The man barely shrugged.

"I am looking for Hitsugaya Toushirou," He stated almost in monotone.

"Sorry," She apologised with a cheeky smile pulling on the corner of her lips. Turning down towards the bed she picked Toushirou up and turned back to face the intruder. "Just me and my puppy here." She told him as she held him up by the scruff of his neck.

"I see," The man stated. And then turned to leave the room. Once he was out of the doorway and well down the corridor Karin snapped her fingers. Her bed on the other side of the room suddenly imploded scattering feathers and debris everywhere.

"Come on!" She complained and then with a wave of her hand the whole explosion disappeared and Toushirou was human again. Suddenly Toushirou found himself being violated as the clothes on his body vanished. She conjured him dressed again and tossed his bag into his arms.

"We have to leave now!" She told him seriously and Toushirou felt her grab his wrist, pull him up and shove him towards the balcony of their room. He had no idea what on earth was happening but before he knew it she had pushed him off the second story and jumped after him. Of course he was going to die! There was no way he was going to see the Cactus Festival now! Toushirou wanted to scream, he really did but before he could let off so much as a yelp about plunging to his death they had disappeared in thin air. Toushirou felt nauseous as he was compressed and pulled through the darkness and then appeared in the middle of the desert. A very familiar piece of desert. He was sprawled on the sand still not entirely awake trying to figure out what on earth was happening. He was gasping for breath and thanking his lucky stars. However Karin did not appear to be on the explaining or sharing mood as she glared at their surroundings.

"Blast!" She cursed, "Not again!" She stomped over to where Toushirou sat and grabbed him by the scruff of his neck before they disappeared again. Appearing in the stables of the inn this time Karin told him to tack up his horse quickly. Finally awake and comprehending that they were fleeing from something he did as he was told. Speed and purpose and all that.

They had fled through the town trying to use the morning crowds in the market place to shield them from their pursuers. It was difficult as Toushirou did have a mop of very white hair. As they ran Karin told Toushirou why they were in such a hurry.

"The Espada," She told him as they power walked along leading they horses and attempted to remain under the radar. It was difficult when every so often you would have to dive into an alleyway to hide from a menacing white dressed figure. Karin had explained how the Espada were a very powerful gang that ruled Hueco Mundo. They were ruthless and blood thirsty criminals under the rule of one malevolent Aizen Souske.

"So what do they want with me?" Toushirou asked as she steered him down another alleyway in attempt to avoid blue haired Espada that had yet to spot them.

"You don't think that the son of the King's advisor might fetch a healthy ransom?" She asked him sarcastically. She didn't wait for an answer as she urged him to keep moving. They were nearly halfway across town and they needed to get to the gates. The problem was that there was probably an Espada stationed at the gate. That gate was also the only entrance and exit from the town. It was also becoming more and more difficult to sneak around when you have to lead two rather flashy dressed horses around with you.

"This is not working!" Karin signed in exasperation. They had snuck into another alleyway and Toushirou was sure they had been spotted yet again. "The horses need to go." She said to no one in particular and with a snap of her fingers their two powerful steeds began to grow in size. They got bigger and were almost elephant size before Karin stopped, floundered and managed to change them back to normal size.

"Stupid good-for-nothing magic powers!" She ranted as she tried again and succeeded this time. The horses had been shrunk to tiny prickly pear size ponies. She scooped them up off the cobblestone alley floor and placed them gently in her pockets. Toushirou's horse gave a rather indignant whinny from her pocket. He didn't have time to protest for horse rights or anything because at that moment a white dressed figure was making their way to the entrance of their hiding place. Due to the lack of light of their position he would have to come almost halfway into the alleyway in order to see if they were there.

Karin cursed yet again and snapped her fingers a few times. Her appearance began to change as she muttered her magic. Suddenly she stood nearly a head taller, had long chestnut hair, green eyes and her clothes had changed in style and colour. Toushirou didn't like it a single little bit. Somehow she didn't look like Karin anymore. Not that there was any time at all to have random thoughts like these. Before he could so much as utter a word about how he thought he should be disguised Karin had waved a hand and he felt himself beginning to shrink smaller and smaller. A spilt second later he was an inanimate object barely as tall as Karin's knees and she had picked him up quickly. Toushirou heard Karin cursing again and he assumed that the spell had gone wrong once again. Either way there was no time to change him into something else because the Espada had made his grand entrance. A slight shadow fell over him and Karin as the tall figure appeared a few feet away.

"You," A gruff voice snapped at her like an angry tom cat. "Woman!" Karin had turned to gaze at the cerulean haired Espada's voice with innocent eyes.

"Yes sir?" She asked him politely smiling at the good looking man.

"You see two people and their horses come down this way?" He asked as he shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his pants. Even with his casual stance he looked like a rattle snake ready to strike. It was all very bad boy looking but Karin was unperturbed by his actions. Instead she tilted her head to the one side pretending to think about it and then shook her head.

"Sorry," She almost sounded sincere. As if. Toushirou knew Karin and sincere should never be put into the same sentence. She was about as sincere as a scorpion. "It just me, and" Karin looked down to see what she was holding. "...my pot plant here." She helpfully held up a beautiful terracotta pot up that held a lovely plant with white flowers. Toushirou would have gulped with dread had he been in human form. She turned him into a plant?! What was wrong with this genie?! A freaking pot plant?!

How was it that she had all the time in the world to change her own appearance but the best she could think up for him was to turn him into shrubbery?!

"Hn," The scary man shrugged and then turned and stalked away without so much as a thank you. Karin signed in relief and Toushirou waited expectantly for her to change him back. However she had other plans. Instead she quickly made her way across town and to the gates. Approaching the tall white marble pillars that made up the gate she sidled up to a guard and grinned. After she sweet talked the guards they let her through the gates.

She began walking through the desert chattering happily about how nice it was not to have him making snarky comments all the time. After she was far enough into the desert Karin had removed the horses from her pockets and conjured them back to their original size. Toushirou assumed that she would do the same for him but of course that would be far too much to ask for. Instead she had merely used magic to ensure that his pot plant self remained upright on the back of his horse. Toushirou wanted to rant in anger and frustration but it was a little difficult when you couldn't even speak! He almost wished he was a vine plant so that he could use his long thin branches to strangle her! Perhaps that would gain her attention.

Now, after spending a whole day in plant form under the beating sun of the desert Toushirou was dying. There was one very good reason there were no plants in the desert. It was because they all died! He could feel the murderous rays sucking the very life out of him and he could do nothing to tell Karin to turn him back! He couldn't even wave his little branches. He was quite lame actually. By the end of the day Toushirou had felt it all. Transpiration, evaporation and any other sot of arations that had to do with loss of moisture, the sun and dying. He felt like a dried husk and somehow he was starving. He was not aware that plants got hungry, but apparently they did. He would never forget to water his pet cactus ever again. This was sheer torture!

Finally as dusk fell and Karin set up camp for the night just outside the next town. She untacked the horses and placed him on the sand slightly out of her way. She set out their supplies and lit a fire. Once a hearty meal was on flames she turned to him and sighed reluctantly. She placed her hands on her hips appeared to be thinking rather hard.

"Now if I could only remember..." She muttered with a frown on concentration. Then with a wave of her hand Toushirou felt himself grow in size and gain his human senses back. Lying on the sand gasping of thirst the full impact of his condition hit him he felt as though he had been roasted alive. His skin was tight and painful to touch. Scrambling up as quickly as he could he made a grab for his water canister and downed the entire contents. His throat felt as though it was on fire as he choked the liquid down. Somehow it still wasn't enough and he drained Karin's as well before collapsing on cool sand with his head protesting angrily. He attempted to soothe the splitting heatstroke headache by burying his face into the cool sand. He had never been so glad to be human.

It was over an hour later before Toushirou felt well enough to even consider moving. Even then he remained on his little sand bed feeling sorry for himself. He wondered if he buried himself under the sand like a desert death adder if he could just disappear from reality. It was so peaceful just lying there pretending that he didn't have a genie who was trying to off him in horrendously creative ways.

Of course after all the awful trauma she had put him through it would be far too much ask that she leave him in peace. It wasn't long before her curiosity and impatience got the better of her. Coming over to where he lay she bent over and began to poke his shoulder. At first Toushirou ignored her as he couldn't be bothered to respond. However that was evidently not the reaction she wanted so she began to poke him with more ferociousness. Her annoying jabbing was accompanied by her calling his name or variants of it over and over again.

"Toushirou, Toush, Toushirou, Shiro, Toushirou, Toushi..." She continued for a half a minute before he finally snapped. Raising his protesting head slightly he opened one eye to glare at her.

"What?!" He exploded, "What do you want?!" He yelled at her and she backed away. Her eyes were wide with surprise at his rage. He had sat up now and it was evident that he was furious with her. His hair was in disarray and his face was tomato red where the sun had near burnt him to crisp.

"Just wondering if you were alright," She told him quietly and he felt his rage boil and bubble over. After all he had been through today she wanted to know if he was alright? He had been rudely awakened this morning, stripped, tossed from a second story balcony, transported to the middle of nowhere and back again. To top it off, as if all of the above wasn't enough she had turned him into a plant and nearly dehydrated him to death! She was the worst genie in the whole world!

"You turned me into a pot plant in the desert," He said icily his eyes flashing. "I nearly died of dehydration and you want to know if I am alright?!" His voice escalated in volume as it reached the end of the sentence. His head complained from the huge clamour but he would not be subdued.

"Do you know how hard it is to photosynthesize?!" He shouted at her and she merely blinked a few times at his odd question. "Apparently not," He continued his tangent with vigour. "You obviously don't think these things through before you do them! You are going to be the death of me!"

"Sorry about that," She said sheepishly and rubbed her head awkwardly. "At least the experience helped you branch out your horizons." She tried to lighten his mood with a pun. It was all with good intentions but it really was not the time. He had it up to his neck with her nonchalant humour towards causing him bodily harm!

"Don't make puns from my misfortune!" He yelled at her and she shrugged at his reprimand. Obviously her guilt was short lived. It appeared that he must be quite fine if had enough energy to yell at her and her uselessness. "I feel like one giant blister and it bloody hurts!"

"I apologised, I don't know what more you want me to do." She waved a hand around dismissively and then turned away from him and crossed her arms over her chest. "Besides, you had the loveliest white flowers," She complimented him. She was so bloody stubborn!

"Feel some remorse!" He scolded but then realised that it was pointless. "Whatever," He muttered grumpily. "We will talk about this in the morning." Toushirou snatched a blanket from his bag and curled up and went to sleep. He would deal with Karin tomorrow when he had the energy for it.

"Very well, I will leaf you then." She chuckled darkly and he didn't even deign her with a response.

Toushirou was having a difficult time drifting off. He felt too hot and his skin was so sore to touch. It didn't matter what position he tried, it felt as if someone was having a go at him with sand paper. He was restless and tossing slightly whilst wincing, nausea making him ill, when he felt Karin approach him. He was about to turn over and yell at her when he felt her hand rest gently on his shoulder. A cool sensation ran along his skin as the burning subsided and suddenly he was no longer in pain and his throat had lost its dry scratchy feeling.

"Sorry," She whispered to him in all sincerity as she got up and moved away. Toushirou felt a sense of guilt rising in his chest. Perhaps he had been slightly too harsh on her. She probably didn't mean any harm. Regardless, he would be having a little chat with her tomorrow about turning him into plant, he decided as he drifted off to sleep.

**Omake:**

**Karin stroked the nose of her steed and gave it a kiss. She was really a beautiful mare and extremely intelligent. **

"**Who is a pretty little, Stollen?" She cooed as she gave the horse a final pat. Toushirou threw her a curious glance from where he had just mounted his own ride.**

"**Your horse's name is Stollen?" He asked her with a raised eyebrow and Karin grinned back.**

"**Of course," She said happily as she mounted. "Yours is called Nick." She told him and he frowned as he adjusted his stirrups. **

"**Did you name them?" He asked her and she nodded looking completely proud of herself. "Why Nick and Stollen?" He was curious about her name choice and Karin merely shrugged.**

"**I am Queen of puns," She said with a wave of her hand as she started out ahead of him. "And they were nicked and stolen by us, weren't they?" She threw a wicked look over her shoulder as Toushirou shook his head. **

"**Heaven only knows where they came from in the first place." He muttered to himself in wonder.**

**Meanwhile, Princess Inoue Orihime was riding her beloved steed to meet her betrothed at the city gate. Her horse was a beautiful specimen and she rather liked how cute it was. She was also so excited to meet her beloved Prince Ishida-kun! In fact she had saddled her best horse to make a dramatic first impression. Suddenly, just before she reached the gates of her city, there was a muffled popping sound and she felt her ride falter. Before she knew it she was waving to her subjects from a ridiculous height. **

"**An elephant!" She cheered in delight clapping her hands together in glee, "So cute!" Now **_**this**_** would make an impression!**

Please review! Or Karin will turn you into a pot plant!


	6. I Acquire a Jewel Encrusted Sugarpot

Hey everyone! Here is chapter 6 of Genie of the Teapot! I know that it has been awhile and I am sure you aren't even surprised anymore. In this chapter the romance slowly (and realistically) starts to blossom! We also have a special guest! Enjoy!

Lots of Love

SugarFox

Chapter 6 – I Acquire a Jewel Encrusted Sugar Pot

"Get your figs here! Dried figs for sale!"

Toushirou swerved to the left to avoid being trampled in the busy market place. It was more than likely with the traffic of camels and merchants bombarding them left, right and centre. The aromatic smells of cloves and cinnamon permeated the air whilst shoppers jostled about cheerily. Toushirou was aware that being caught in the middle of the whole hubbub was not a good idea, but Karin had insisted that they absolutely had to visit. This city was far enough away from the capital and the palace so he was no longer as easily recognised as before. It was also famous for its huge daily market that stocked everything from previously mentioned dried figs to lucky rocks. Right now he felt as though he might just need a lucky rock to get out of here alive.

Karin was having the time of her life as she literally bounded from one stall to the next. Her complete and utter fascination with little things like roasted chestnuts and woven carpets was enough to amuse him. It was because of this that he humoured her. He supposed that a couple of hundred years in a jewel encrusted teapot made one appreciate the simple things a little bit more. He was glad she was enjoying herself and he was beginning to find this whole escapade rather fun after the last few disastrous days. Not so much the actual sight-seeing, but just watching her having a blast was strangely comforting. Almost as if there was just a tiny grain of hope left in the world. Toushirou was glad that they had managed to sort out their issues before they had left camp this morning. Otherwise this little trip would have been very awkward for the both of them. Especially with her trying to kill him yesterday and whatnot. Alright, so it hadn't been her intention to let him nearly dehydrate to death, but it had happened regardless and he felt the need to sort out the problem.

Toushirou had slept like a rock last night after she had healed him and woken up this morning feeling the best he had in ages. Something that was oddly soothing after the last few chaotic days they had had. Sure, running for his life from various dangers was super fun (not really), but he was glad for the break. He had quite enough of fan girls, Espada gangs, the desert, being flung off balconies, being a dog, photosynthesizing etc. Enough was enough. So when he rubbed the sleep from his eyes he found that Karin was in a sombre mood. She was packing up camp around him whilst muttering indiscernible things to herself. Toushirou wondered how best to broach the subject of the previous day. The plant incident had left him as pissed off as a rattle snake that had been shaken up in a rice sack. Karin was probably wondering if it was safe to mention the topic and let the snake out.

However, she had apologised to him and used her powers as a great genie to heal him. Without blowing him up which was always an added bonus. For which he was truly grateful. There was nothing more relaxing than knowing all your limbs where exactly where they should be. If she hadn't healed him the night before he would probably feel much less charitable but now he just wanted to move past the whole ordeal. His anger had significantly receded now so she was slightly off the hook. However, only a little bit off the hook. Toushirou also had to consider the fact that she did get him away from the Espada gang before things turned ugly. Even if she did throw him off a balcony and turn him into numerous things. So he did have to consider thanking her at the same time. Not to mention the fact that he did need her on his little trip. He had her to thank for a lot of close shaves, and her magic meant that they didn't have carry an excessive amount of luggage either. She was quick thinking and her powers were an asset despite her many mishaps. He also couldn't deny that the trip would be horrifically boring if he had been doing it on his own. It was nice to have someone to watch your back, even if they ended up turning said back into a plant. He was not going to enjoy his travels at all if things continued to be so tense and hostile between the two of them all the time. The least they could do was sort out their issues and be friends. He also felt as if his journey would be very boring and lonely without her. Honestly, personality wise Toushirou was about as fun as an annual flu shot. Karin was the one who was making this whole escapade an adventure! When he got home he was going to have so many anecdotes to share with Matsumoto and his father! He could hardly cut it short.

So instead of awkwardly adverting his eyes from Karin as she tried to pretend that he wasn't there, he decided to confront her.

"So here is the deal," He said and her head snapped up to look at him in surprise. "I am still hacked off that you turned me into a pot plant, but I can get over it." He told her firmly and she nodded as relief slightly relaxed her pretty features. Obviously she thought he was going to break the contract and send her back to her stupid cave of gold pears or something. Now that he thought about it, a cave of gold pears sounds like a rather nice sightseeing place... Hm. Anyway, point was, if she was anyone else he would seriously consider it. However she was growing on him, and she kept him on his toes. You never knew what would happen next with her around and just maybe he was enjoying her company a little bit.

"But no more turning me into anything anymore, got it?" He frowned at her and she nodded eagerly at his ultimatum. Her tense frown broke out into a wide grin and she nodded eagerly. She must have thought he was angrier than he was. He could swear she thought she was completely done for. You would think that he was going to banish her to her teapot and fling it into the ocean, never to be found again! That was rather a good idea, Toushirou mused but a little hard to implement with the obvious lack of an ocean in the desert. However he would make sure to store that little plot away in file 13 for if they ever made it to the coast.

"Got it," She agreed easily and then before he knew what was happening she lunged at him. Her grip was around him like python as she hugged his stiff form. It was nice, he had to admit and strangely comforting. However he tried his hardest to suppress the heat rushing to his face when he realised that Karin's outfit really did show a lot of skin. He hadn't really thought about it before, but now that she had practically thrown herself into his arms it was a tad harder to ignore. "I swear that if I mess up you can send me back to the cave of gold pears!" She had exclaimed excitedly as she released him and offered her pinky finger up for a promise. What were they? Five years old? He shook his head at her childish nature but linked his own with hers and they shook on their promise.

As a truce trip celebration Karin insisted that they visit the market in this city and just enjoy the morning before it got too hot. Toushirou had been to a great many market places in his lifetime so he wasn't too overwhelmed by the general vibe. However Karin had been like a kid who had been given free reign over a candy store. She hadn't wanted to buy anything because they were travelling and would not be able to carry much on their horses, but she was determined to look in every single nook and cranny. Toushirou knew that by the end of the day there wouldn't be so much as a single pistachio nut that they didn't know about. He shook his head at her unlimited energy as she darted around and showed no signs of slowing down.

Suddenly Toushirou realised that in his musing he had lost Karin in the crowd of very exuberant shoppers. He tried not to curse as he was rudely shoved aside yet again by a man moving his wares. He stood on the ends of his toes as he tried to look over the crowd to find her. He hated that he was so short! Sure, he wasn't exactly a midget, but a few more inches would not go amiss! The last thing he needed around bout now is for Karin to pop up again and made comments about vegetables and his height! He was cursing his lack of height and Karin's tenancy to wander off like an unpegged camel when he was nearly trampled over.

He was on the verge of losing his temper when he suddenly felt a cool hand around his wrist. The hand was slight with a bronze bracelet around the wrist. He looked up to see Karin's grinning face not far from his own. He froze for a second as he breathed in a smell of honey and jasmine that drifted from the petite genie. She linked her fingers with his own and he managed to snap out of it but his teal orbs locked on their entwined hands. No one had held his hand in years, not since his mother passed away. Karin's hand in his was somehow reassuring. As if he wasn't alone anymore.

"Don't get lost," She teased him with a warm smile before tugging him to the next stall. As he followed her, Toushirou took in her figure with curious eyes. She really was something else. An enigma and he was having a difficult time working her out. She still wore her genie clothes of billowing pants and a cropped vest that exposed her smooth midriff. She managed to pull the fashion statement off with ease. Her skin remained only lightly tanned despite the harsh desert sun and her dark hair managed to look perfectly ruffled without her really trying. Toushirou didn't have time to comprehend why his thoughts were suddenly taking a different route. Karin had said something and he had missed it. She shook her head at his distracted state and repeated herself.

"I want to go look at that crockery merchant's stall," She told him as she pointed it out for him a little way down the square. Toushirou merely nodded in agreement and allowed her to lead him in that direction. It appeared that Karin was still definitely a woman, and therefore had a weakness for shopping, window or otherwise.

The merchant of the stall was a tiny pudgy man who sat on a Persian cushion smoking a reed thin pipe. Toushirou though that the merchant's customer service skills could use some work. Instead of offering any assistance he merely squinted at everyone as if he suspected them of stall lifting. His greying beard and turban gave him a sort of authoritive look. Karin perused his wares with a casual demeanour with her fingers anchored firmly in Toushirou's. They both seemed to have forgotten that they were holding hands. Every now and then Karin would see a piece she thought was rather beautiful and she would nudge his shoulder with her own to gain his attention. The touch was light and intimate almost like a lovers caress. A thought that Toushirou decided was completely ridiculous since he and Karin were just barely passing friendship right now. Ignoring the jumble of odd thoughts he decided to return to the present. Another slight bump from her and Toushirou nodded in approval at a beautiful hand painted tea set with a cherry blossom pattern. The pandemonium of their shopping had fallen into a more relaxed and calming atmosphere when suddenly the pressure on his hand tightened. Toushirou's eyes flicked to Karin's face to see what had worried her. Her expression seemed to be one of disbelief and Toushirou's gaze fell onto what had startled her.

It was a sugarpot. However, not just any sugarpot, but a jewel encrusted sugarpot of gold. Karin seemed to hold an unusual amount of interest in the small item. It looked as though it could have been part of the set that Karin's own teapot had come from. He decided that that was a silly thought. Karin said that she hailed from England which means that the rest of the tea set should be halfway across the world. She probably just liked the look of it. Maybe she had magpie tenancies and liked shiny stuff. It would explain how she could live in a gaudy gold teapot without a care in the world. Heaven only knew what she kept in that bloody teapot of hers. It wasn't as if she had invited him to tea inside or anything.

"Toushirou," Karin gave him a forced smile for the benefit of the merchant who was hovering nearby. "Buy the sugarpot." She told him and he blinked twice. Why would he need to buy a sugarpot on his travels? Besides it was slightly tacky and sort of dented. In his opinion it was really not worth buying.

"Karin-" He began to protest when she placed almost painful pressure on his hand. Toushirou felt a few of his metacarpals click like scorpion pincers. Damn this woman didn't know her own strength sometimes!

"Honey..." She cooed in a sickly sweet voice as her eyes flashed in a menacing manner, "Buy me the sugarpot." She demanded like a spoilt princess. Toushirou yanked his hand out of hers and rubbed his aching appendages. With a frown as he took in how serious she was. He eyes reflected an almost anxious desperation.

"Anything for you, dear." His tone was almost patronising, but he turned to the merchant and made an offer on the sugarpot. After a couple of minutes of bargaining and some daylight robbery the man took his money and handed over the purchase. Karin grabbed it quickly and hugged it to her chest before grabbing his wrist again and making their way out of the city with haste. He felt as though he was being dragged behind a camel as she tore across town to the gates. Toushirou wanted to ask what that was about, but Karin was thinking very hard about something and didn't seem to want to respond. It didn't take that long to leave the city limits and make their way to their concealed camp in the desert. Karin waved her hand and the small gazebo she conjured to shield them from the sun appeared with two bored looking horses.

Toushirou took a deep breath to ask what on earth was going on and why he had to part with a ridiculous amount of cash, when Karin finally lost it.

"Alright! Come out you jerk!" She demanded as she whipped around and flung the sugarpot into the sand in a very violent manner. It bounced once before it ended up partially emerged under the warm grains. Toushirou was shocked, but she paid him no mind as she glared at the sugarpot. It glinted in the sun in an almost mocking manner. She pointed at it in an accusation and shook her finger in an obvious scolding way.

"I know you are in there! Don't you think for a second that I didn't recognise that shitty piece of real estate!" She growled even more viciously, but nothing happened. She began to pace and Toushirou was beginning to wonder if Karin was hallucinating from sunstroke or dehydration.

"Karin..." He began but trailed off when she raised her hand at him in an obvious 'not now' gesture. Her face was set in a firm glare and she squinted almost as if she was having a staring match with the little sugarpot.

"That's it!" She seemed to reach her breaking point, "Either you come out or I come in!" However, she didn't wait for a response before her body began to turn into wisps of smoke from the feet upwards. He body faded away and before Toushirou knew it, she had disappeared into the sugarpot and left him standing under the gazebo alone. Toushirou always knew that she was a few nuts short of a pecan pie. It was only a matter of time really. If he thought that this was the last of the strange things that would happen to him today be was seriously mistaken.

From Karin's reaction he knew that this was no normal sugarpot, but even he was not prepared for the ear piercing alarm that the piece of the crockery emitted. It was louder and more ear piercing than the alarm on the palace causing Toushirou to drop to the ground with his hands over his ears. Then as aggressively as she had dived into the little sugarpot, Karin was blasted out of it again. She materialised from smokes and spun gracefully through the air. She landed on her feet no far from where the sugarpot was still shrieking looking particularly smug with herself. Toushirou was going to demand that she make the blasted racket stop when the pot began to make a large number of popping and whizzing sounds. Smoke burbled from the spout and figure began to form. A few seconds later an orange haired and exceptionally well built genie appeared and he looked murderous. At least he did until he caught sight of Karin. Then he grinned and floated over to her and petted her head affectionately.

"Karin! It's been awhile!"

He was really tall with an absolutely humongous sword strapped on his back. The curved blade was not unlike the one that Karin kept at her hip. Karin grinned at the other genie before she bounded into his arms and gave him a huge hug. Toushirou felt an emotion that felt a lot like jealously swell in his chest as he got up off the ground and scowled at the newcomer. He didn't like this stupid genie, he looked like a punk gangster and had his hands all over his

"Ichi-nii!" Karin greeted cheerfully and cut Toushirou's thought short. The frown dropped very quickly, only to be replaced with a slight feeling of dread. This man had at least a head and half on him and probably wouldn't take too kindly to his sister travelling with some random man. Now Toushirou was no coward and he was quite a whizz with a sword, but this was a genie with magic powers at his disposal! What chance did he have if this 'Ichi-nii' suddenly decided to crush him with a conveniently placed anvil? Or turn him into that desert rat that Karin had threatened him with on their first meeting? Or even a pot plant left to dehydrate amongst the dunes! (Actually that last idea sounded the best since there wouldn't even be a body to find! He would probably get eaten by a desperate camel. He didn't want to be camel food!) He was screwed. Although before he could presume any further about his future demise Karin had released her brother and led him over to where Toushirou stood.

"Ichi-nii," She grinned and gestured towards Toushirou. "This is my good friend, Toushirou." She introduced with an exaggerated hand wave. "Toushirou this is my older brother, Ichigo Kurosaki." She stood there beaming at the pair of them and Toushirou wondered if this was some sort of test.

So he extended his hand in greeting and Ichigo shook it with a grin almost as wide as Karin's usually were. "Nice to meet ya," he said, and Toushirou tried not to flinch as his fingers suffered yet another round of abuse today. Clearly their iron grip was genetic.

"Likewise." Toushirou nodded, although his thoughts screamed that it was anything but. His thoughts couldn't help conjuring up an untimely demise as camel feed!

Karin appeared to be oblivious to the little exchange between her brother and Toushirou. Something that he was thankful for until he had a chance to sort through his scrambled head. Instead Karin busted through their things and began making a pot of strong coffee on the fire. The three of them made themselves comfortable under the gazebo whilst the siblings exchanged little anecdotes about what had been happening over the last 200 hundred years or so. Soon Karin shoved a cup of the bitter black liquid into their hands that the conversation started to head steadily south.

"It's so cool that Karin managed to get out of that blasted pear cave and make a new genie friend." Ichigo commented and Karin suddenly looked like a mouse thrown in a pit of vipers.

"Well Ichi-nii..." She trailed off awkwardly and Ichigo abruptly leaned forward waiting for what Toushirou believed would be an interesting explanation. "The thing is..." She tried again with minimal success so Toushirou decided to help her out. If he was going to be camel feed, then he had best get it over with rather quickly.

"I am not a genie." He told the older man straight and Ichigo's eyes widened in surprise at the answer. There was a tense stretch of silence in which Karin sprung to her feet and cleared their half full cups as her brother processed the whole situation. Somehow Toushirou knew that this whole debacle was going to go down like a lead balloon. Realisation dawned and Ichigo's face hardened into harsh lines. He rubbed his jaw wearily before taking a deep breath.

"Karin, tell me that you didn't." His voice held just the slightest hint of hope that she would not confirm what his mind had managed to piece out of the whole puzzle.

"I didn't." Karin replied almost monotonously and it appeared that Ichigo knew a lie when he heard it.

"Damn it, Karin!" He finally snapped and jumped to his feet to point an accusing finger at his sister. "You made a contract with a human?!" Ichigo appeared have quite the temper, so Toushirou stood as well and moved a few feet away from the raging genie. If Karin was trying to avoid a confrontation before, she had quickly changed tactics because suddenly she was stomping over towards Ichigo.

"Not that it is any of your business, _Ichi-nii," _Karin hissed with barely concealed venom. "But yes, I did!" She raised her chin in defiance and crossed her arms of her chest for good measure. It appeared as though the hot temper was another genetic feature, Toushirou mused.

"How could you be so stupid!" Ichigo ranted, and Toushirou noticed that Ichigo began radiating a white glow around his figure. "That is punishable by exile you know!" Ichigo informed them with an angry shout and Toushirou felt horrid all of a sudden. Sure it wasn't his idea to do this whole contract thing, but he was half of the problem here.

"What?!" Karin yelped, as this was news to her and Toushirou noticed she was encased in a similar glow of white. "I thought it was just a fine or something?!" She waved her hands around and began pacing at a furious rate.

"Yeah, well that changed!"Ichigo shouted and the gazebo that gave them shelter began to flap around madly. Toushirou felt a warm blast of power emanating from the two genies and it was starting to blow apart loose items in the tent. He realise that their magic must be going a little bit haywire with all the swirling emotions. Their two auras were clashing and causing the mother of all sand storms around them like a giant sand tornado and the three of them were in the eye.

"Well I didn't know that!" Karin hollered back at him and Toushirou was beginning to wonder if he would be able to escape this whole crisis. Nick and Stollen appeared to exchange nervous glances and huddle closer together.

"Well that's what happens when you disappear for 200 years!" Ichigo threw back, "and you are bound to this stupid human!" He added with a rude point in Toushirou's direction. The stupid human in question had managed to hang for dear life to one of the gazebo legs and was trying quite hard not to get blown away. His feet were clean off the ground and he was flapping around like a cheerful cactus day flag.

"Guys!" He yelled at the two in panic, but they were otherwise preoccupied.

"Don't you insult Toushirou!" Karin leapt to his defence and managed to conjure a slipper and pitch it at her brother's head. The strike was true and hit Ichigo between the eyes. When it knocked him clean off his feel and left a crisscross print across his brow. "He might be a stupid human, but he is a loyal stupid human and he treats me like a person!" Karin growled at her brother who was rubbing his injury with a scowl.

"You shouldn't be fraternizing with a stupid human anyway!" Ichigo threw back as he got to his feet. The cocoon of sand they were trapped in began to flicker and Toushirou, still clinging for dear life managed to see their location changing with absolutely no disruption to the scene inside. They were heading to the town. Toushirou waving around, the gazebo that was surprisingly still in one place, the slightly nonchalant yet huddling horses and two very angry genies.

"I am four thousand and sixteen years old, Ichi-nii!" Karin ploughed forward and grabbed Ichigo by the front of his bedazzled genie vest. "You can't tell me who I can and cannot be friends with!" She gave him a good shake. "If I want to be friends with the stupid human I will do as I please!" She told him straight, and suddenly Toushirou dropped to the ground gaining a face full of sand as he realised the raging sandstorm had suddenly subsided. He got up quickly and spat out the annoying granules before scowling at the two childish genies that got him into this condition. He noted that they were on the outskirts of the town they had left and there were a few people milling around looking very surprised at this whole display.

"Excuse me, but I am standing right here." Toushirou decided to pipe up in the gap and defend himself from all the 'stupid human' insults and natural disasters that were being thrown around. However these Kurosaki siblings paid him no mind and continued their argument. Karin released Ichigo with a huff and a growl.

"Either way, you have to undo it." Ichigo insisted as he tried to reason with her. "Now. Before they find out about it." He implored her to take his advice and Karin frowned at him thoughtfully. It looked like the main part of the argument was over and for that Toushirou had never been more thankful. Now, Toushirou decided would be a good time to make his point heard. You know, before one of them pissed the other off and they created a tsunami or something. Now that would be pretty hard to explain to the general passerby.

"Karin," He began trying to ignore the death glares he was getting from Ichigo. "Your brother is right. We have to break the contract." Karin gave both men a surly look and a sulky pout. She obviously did not like being told she was wrong. It wasn't long before she stared at the sand and sheepishly kicked a wayward bag.

"Yeah, that's the thing..." She mumbled, "I kinda don't know how." She admitted. Ichigo's jaw dropped and Toushirou's head whipped to look at her so fast he feared that he gave himself whiplash.

"What do you mean you don't know how?!" Toushirou demanded of the petite genie. It was one thing to be bound to a genie for a year or two, but for his whole life? Heck no! He didn't have the time or the energy to fear for his life everyday! It had only been a few days and he had suffered more horrors than most people did in their whole lives! Been there and done that!

"It's alright." Ichigo inserted calmly. "We can just go to Urahara and get him to undo it." The group took a collective sigh and the confrontation died down. If this Urahara character could fix this, then all hope was not lost, Toushirou decided. Karin did not appear to like the idea of breaking the contract at all, but the threat of Exile from Lamp Society was enough to make her concede. Even if she was taking it a bit like a petulant child.

"Fine, but we are travelling the long way." Karin informed her brother firmly. "I have spent the last 200 years in a cave with gold pears and I refuse to go back into my teapot that quickly." Karin refused to budge on this point so Ichigo shrugged and sighed in resignation.

"Just make sure you don't get caught on the way there." He told her tiredly and Karin snorted at his request.

"You underestimate me." Her face took on an almost knowing smile that Ichigo returned. Toushirou felt a little bit like he was intruding on a personal joke of sorts.

"It's not hard, especially with you being the suckiest genie of all time." Ichigo insulted his sister with a playful smirk and Karin puffed up from the remarks.

"That's not fair Ichi-nii!" She whined comically. "I have been much better! I haven't even killed anyone yet!" Toushirou wanted to remark that the 'yet' was the operative word but he would rather keep his head where it was.

"Yes, oh Genie of Incidents of Great Consequence!" Ichigo teased as he waved a hand and restored the camp to its previous state. "Now why don't you try and wipe the memories of those idiots." Ichigo asked her pointing to the people watching the magic exchange with eyes the size of saucers.

"Fine!" Karin snapped and snapped her finger sharply in the direction of the meddlesome people. It took a split second for all of the people to turn gang green and drop dead. Toushirou gasped and Ichigo began to crack himself laughing.

"Aw crud!" Karin sighed in exasperation and hid her face in her hands.

Toushirou guessed that that was one way to get them to shut up about the ordeal. Maybe just slightly extreme but 100 percent effective...

"Always with the plague, Karin!" Ichigo seemed to choke on his laughter before collapsing to the sand and rolling around in near giggles.

"Oh bugger off." Karin retorted and then stalked off towards the people where she began to revive them. This left Toushirou and Ichigo alone in the simple camp. Ichigo recovered from his mirth and turned to give Toushirou a suspicious glare. A look that Toushirou returned with a stubborn glare of his own.

"I don't trust you." He told Toushirou straight as he sat down in the sand, "and if you hurt Karin I will not hesitate to shred you to pieces and scatter you across the desert." Ichigo threatened him and Toushirou had no doubt that the older genie was more than capable of doing it. Camel feed, camel feed, camel feed, his head chanted annoyingly.

"Don't hold back, tell me how you really feel." Toushirou commented sarcastically as he took a seat in the shade of the gazebo as well.

"However, Karin seems to like you so I guess I'll give you a chance." Ichigo didn't sound too happy with this course of action, but what could he do? "But you had better look after her. She isn't as tough as she makes out to be." Toushirou took Ichigo's warning with a pinch of salt. Karin was more than capable of looking after herself. She could cause people to drop dead from the plague in two seconds, no one would ever mess with her.

"I don't need you to tell me that." Toushirou rolled his eyes and waved away the whole 'big brother' speech with a single hand.

"Then we have an understanding." Ichigo concluded and Karin came back to the camp looking worse for the wear from bringing people back to life.

"What are you two talking about?" She asked suspiciously as she began to prepare food next to the fire that was now nothing but a naked circle of ashes.

"Nothing. Guy stuff." Karin was appeased by the explanation and continued looking for cooking utensils in her bag.

"You staying for supper, Ichi-nii?" She asked with her nose halfway in her bag so that all they could see was the top of her head.

"Nah, I had better get back before Rukia wonders where I disappeared to." Ichigo told his sister as he got to his feet and brushed the sand off his clothing. "See you at Urahara's place soon?" He asked and Karin nodded as she found the chopping knife she wanted.

"Give us a few weeks or so." She told him as she began to dice vegetables. "We have to go around the desert and into the mountains beyond, and I refuse to hurry." Ichigo realised that this was about as good as it was going to get so he let it go.

"Be careful, ne?" He warned them as his body began turning into smoke and promptly disappeared into the sugarpot.

Once he was gone Toushirou let off a sigh of relief. "Your brother is charming you know." He told her and Karin raised her head to see his playful grin. "Are your fights always that violent?" He enquired curiously and Karin laughed.

"Nah that was a mild one."She told him, "We didn't even have a magic battle there."

"Oh." Toushirou said with a thoughtful look. "So we leave to find this Urahara person tomorrow?" He asked her and she nodded as he got up to help her with supper.

"Yeah," She said casually. "But we are going to take our sweet time getting there." She grinned and Toushirou found himself mirroring it. Take their sweet time indeed!

**Omake 1:**

**Toushirou and Karin had departed from camp early this morning after a quick breakfast. Karin had produced a map to show Toushirou the route that they would take to get to the mountains on the edge of the desert. The entire desert was almost circular and in order to get to the mountains they would have to go around the edge of the desert by hopping from town to town. **

"**I don't completely understand why we can't just go straight through the middle of the desert and cut the journey in half." Toushirou commented to himself as he tacked up Nick, his trusty steed. Suddenly a voice piped up from next to him.**

"**If you think I am carrying you across a desert you are sorely mistaken." Nick drawled with a roll of his large chocolate eyes. **

"**Ah! My horse talks!" Toushirou yelped and then shook his head to make sure that he wasn't dreaming. **

**Nick gave his rider and wide horsish grin displaying all of his white teeth. "I can belly dance too." **

**Please review! (Even if I don't deserve it because I am horrid at updating!)**


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